Disclosed
by Lost Phantasm
Summary: I had to erase my past, ignore my former self, and create a new persona for her sake. Yet, why did I have to hide from her?
1. Day 01: Assignment

**A/N: **I just seem to have these ideas poking around in my head lately. This one was the dominant one, and it couldn't resist being written down.

This story is written in a different manner than usual, so please bear with it.

Things are still tentative, so there may be some slight adjustments later on.  
**  
Summary:** I had to erase my past, ignore my former self, and create a new persona, for her sake. But why did I have to hide from her?

**Disclaimer**: If I owned Shugo Chara, I wouldn't be writing this.

* * *

**Day 01: Assignment**

* * *

I was lying there on the roof of one of the buildings of Easter, attempting to enjoy this quiet time I had known as my lunch hour.

Work was hectic today, and this morning was a mess. Ugh. Utau had to make a big deal out of my appearance, my blue attire. She didn't like the way I dressed, and I could care less. Lucky for me that she had business elsewhere at the moment, so she couldn't join me up here. Though all we did was eat our lunches in peace...

I held the key chained to my neck. That girl... What was her name again? Amu or something? Looking at the key I had reminded me of her, the girl who held the lock to the key.

Yoru, my Guardian Character, was off on an errand for me, delivering at note to that girl.

Just then, I received a phone call from the director.

"What is it?"

"Ikuto, come to my office. I have a special assignment for you."

"All right."

Goodie. I wonder what the old man had in store for me this time. More X-egg roundups? A reconnaissance mission? That man was unpredictable.

I walked in, standing in front of the old buffoon sitting at his desk, awaiting his orders.

"Please have a seat." He pointed to the cushioned chair I stood next to.

This was different. Normally he never did this. And if he did, he was really desperate about something, as if I was his last hope.

"What is it?" I asked, trying to get business started.

The director cleared his throat, and then began to speak. "Another one of our bodyguards has left his station. He left a complaint about how unreasonable his client is."

I nodded, trying to pull together the pieces. So he wants me to be a bodyguard?

"This is the twenty-ninth one your sister has chased off! Do you know how ridiculous that is!?" He slammed his fist on his desk, making me aware of how frustrated he really was. Haha, the old man, he'll never learn. He was too stubborn to realize that my sister is strong enough to take care of herself, that she doesn't even _need_ a bodyguard, nevertheless _want_ need one.

"Ikuto, since you are her brother, I am assigning you to be her bodyguard. I assume that you can tolerate her childish behavior."

Me? Become her bodyguard? Utau had this tiny... well, not tiny, but huge attraction towards me. We rarely spent time together during work, and for me to suddenly appear in every aspect of her life at every moment... wouldn't that create some commotion? I could picture the newspaper headline: "Singing Idol Hoshina Utau in Love with Brother!" That wouldn't do her any good at all, considering how she couldn't control herself well around me.

"Of course, I know of the feelings she has for you, so to protect Easter's name and good fortune, I'm having you change your appearance and take an alias during the course of this assignment. 'Mamoru Mizuki.' That will be your name. I am going to have to overwrite your personnel file to match this. Nobody will ever know that Tsukiyomi Ikuto ever worked here."

He's going to erase me from his company and place a new label on me... I could only crawl my hand into a fist to hold back my anger. If I didn't follow his orders, he would torture her...

"You will move out of your home into a new assigned building. I'm giving you the rest of the day off to complete the preliminary tasks. Is all of this clear?"

He's saying all of this on short notice... He expects me to just forget about my past self, take on a new identity, break off my current connection with my sister for a new, isolated nature for her, all in five hours? The director really liked doing this, torturing me, making my life a living hell...

I restrained myself from making an outburst. Orders are orders... If I didn't follow them, somebody had to take the punishment. Too bad I couldn't get fired. I was chained to Easter for eternity... If only if only...

"Yes, sir."

"Report back to me tomorrow at 5 A.M. so we can make your new photo identification card and give you your first instructions."

I have to conceal the fact that I'm hiding from my sister... I slammed my fist on my bedroom door. What the hell, stepfather! I could barely tolerate what you asked me to do, but this... this is over the line! Out of rage, I began thrashing about, carelessly throwing objects in my room at the wall, until I realized that I had broken one of my picture frames. I picked up the photo, careful to avoid the shards of glass, seeing my sister's and my frozen smile. We were dressed elegantly, Utau in a beautiful white gown, while I was in a miniature tuxedo. I would have to abandon all of this, even my past with her... Lucky that no one was around to see me in my weakest moment. If Utau, heck, even Amu, were around... No. I needed to be strong for them. If they saw me crying right now... No. I need to be strong. For their sakes.

Eventually, I was able to coerce myself to get myself to a hair salon. I had to change my appearance somehow, so I decided to dye my hair a darker, midnight blue. Almost jet black, it could pass. Now I needed to change my eye color and clothing... wait... black clothes would be good. Weren't those what the bodyguards usually wear? As for the eye color... I decided to settle on the color of my sister's eyes... purple. It was a couple of shades darker than my sister's violet hues, but it would do.

Yoru came back from delivering the note, stating Amu's reply: "Stop teasing me, you jerk!" I smirked. That was _so_ like her. But I would have to cease my notes to her, leaving her in the dark as well...

Now, I had to hide the fact that I possessed a Guardian Character.

"I need a favor, Yoru. A big one."

Yoru willingly came back inside me, fused together with me. He could come out whenever he needed to, just as long as the situation proved to be dangerous. An emergency button, simply put.

I packed my belongings, bringing only the bare essentials, my clothing, that picture, and my violin. Yes... that violin. You know, the one that I always seem to carry around? The one that my sister persisted that I play? That one.

I was about to exit the house before I felt something stop me. What was it... guilt? Regret? I couldn't pinpoint the exact feeling, but I couldn't just leave Utau out of the blue like this. She comes home, seeing my room, drawers emptied out, broken glass shards on the floor. She'll freak out... I picked up a piece of paper and a blue pen, thinking of what to write to her.

_Utau,_

That sounded too formal. Scratch that.

_My sister dearest,_

Much better.

I was never much of a writer, but strangely this letter seemed to flow out of me.

_My sister dearest,  
_  
_I have been assigned on a special mission that will take quite some time. For this reason, I must leave you to yourself alone. I can no longer be present by your side, and we can no longer meet. Do not try to find me; I do not want to be found._

_I'm sorry that I won't be around to see your concerts. I wish you the best of luck._

_By the way, because you chased off another bodyguard, you're getting a new one tomorrow._

_Love,_

_Your brother dearest._

There. Kind of ironic, how I ended that letter... This wouldn't be the end. I would continue life on as another person, somebody not myself. I had to carefully watch my actions, otherwise I could be spotted. I couldn't talk like I knew her, I couldn't talk comfortably with the people I once knew. I... will have to ignore everybody except my stepfather...

I settled in my new home, quite comfortable and relaxing, though the absence of my sister would soon be something that continued to touch my every nerve. Only now did I realize how much I missed her, when she was taken away. Amu, too... and the little king, Tadase...

I could imagine now how Utau would be reacting. Probably crying, hugging the letter to her chest... Probably. I felt a tang of grief overcome me momentarily, but quickly I assured myself that she would be fine. I would be at her side at all times, I assumed, so it would be okay. Even so, she's strong... stronger than me.

I made do on the memory foam mattress Easter supplied me with, my eyes closing as I dreamed of what would happen tomorrow.

The day finally came, and I reported to my stepfather's office. He seemed pleased at my disguise, almost as if he liked the new me better than my old self. I had my new photo taken, a new background created, and all I could do was accept this as it was handed to me. Beneath my dark sunglasses, I merely closed my eyes and hoped for the best.

I walked up to my former home, waiting outside the front door for my sis- No, my client, Hoshina Utau, to get ready. I had some doubts about myself, that she could see through my facade, that she would derail my mask in an instant, because she knew me so well.

The front door opened, and I eyed her walk out, not once making eye contact with me. "So you're my new bodyguard?" She scoffed, then continued, "I'm leaving you behind if you can't keep up."

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

I had to drive her to the Easter main building, so she wouldn't be getting very far without me.

I followed her to the car, where I took my seat as the driver, then headed towards Easter headquarters.

As I looked at her through my rear view mirror, I saw her seated with her hands together, her head looking downcast, her eyes containing a slight sorrow.

She mouthed something inaudible, something I realized as my name.

A tear threatened to fall, but I held back. This had to be done.

* * *

**A/N: **This isn't written in my best style, but I'm experimenting with the types of stories there are...

I have the second and third chapters completed, but I'm working out the fourth and fifth chapters before I'm releasing them.

Please note that the chapter title format "Day XX: Chapter Title" is just a method of naming the chapter. In other words, the storyline could still be on the second day even if the chapter title is "Day 03".

Oh, and thanks for reading! Reviews are very much appreciated.


	2. Day 02: Regret

**A/N: **Here's the second chapter.

**Summary: **I had to erase my past, ignore my former self, and create a new persona, for her sake. But why did I have to hide from her?

**Disclaimer**: If I owned Shugo Chara, I wouldn't be writing this.

* * *

**Day 02: Regret**

* * *

We kept quiet during the ride.

I was intimidated by her presence; that glare she kept on giving me was freaking me out. I tried my best to ignore it, though tempted to just come over and give her a hug, just so I could see her bicker about and give her a hard time. _That's right, make her hate me, so that she won't suspect that I'm her brother._

Yeah, sometimes I hurt people purposely, just so I could protect them from my own business... but the scar that it left on my heart was something to be dealt with. Who knows? Maybe I'm hurting myself more than I'm helping, or I'm hurting them more than I'm hurting me. Either way, forcing myself to hurt others...

I finally pulled into the Easter parking lot, halting the car. As her bodyguard, I was supposed to protect her and watch out for any dangerous situations, so opening the door for her would seem like the obvious thing to do. Manners? No, this is my job. I found her opening the door and exiting the car by herself, storming off without me into the building.

Guess she really is serious about leaving me behind.

When I caught up to her, she had already checked in at the counter, so I quickly flashed my identification, hopefully enough so that I wouldn't have to take the extra minute to sign in. I rushed towards the elevator she was in, the doors already closing, seeing her facade washed in surprise as I stuck out my hand to prevent the doors from closing, so that I could enter.

Yeah, she's serious. If this was what she put her bodyguards through, then I could understand why the last one quit his job.

I took my place behind her, the place where your supposed guardian angel is. I was certain that I heard her chuckle lightly before the elevator arrived at our floor. I followed closely behind her left shoulder, finally hearing her state some words that weren't so mean.

"Mamoru Mizuki, was it?"

Wait... how did she...?

"I read your name tag."

What was she, a mind reader?

I never once said a thing to her since the morning, because I haven't had practice with my new accent yet. Heck, I haven't even thought of a new one. So playing it silent would be the best. Well... seems like she didn't even want to hear me speak, my own sister, that is.

"Good morning, Sanjo-san."

Was that her manager? The tall, red haired woman sitting by her desk...?

"Ah, hello, Utau. Um, who is that behind you...?"

What...? You mean she's never seen any one of Utau's bodyguards before!? Damn, my sister must be really good at chasing them off, if none of them ever made it this far. Too bad she couldn't scare me... heheheh.

She looked back at me, then said, "He's my bodyguard."

Sanjo-san looked at me with curiosity, even standing up to examine me up close. I had to hide the fact that I was hiding something...

"I never knew you had one, Utau."

"Mr. Director sent one over this morning."

Yeah, yeah...

Utau whispered something into her manager's ear, like a request or something, then the red head nodded.

"All right, bodyguard, hang around here for a bit while I get some things." Utau turned around, not once looking me in the eyes. She walked past me as if I weren't there.

I sat in the lounge, arms and legs crossed, my eyes shut, concealed by the dark sunglasses I wore. So this was how Utau treated other people... this was totally different from how she treated me... when I was Ikuto. She'd been hardened by something...

Just then, I recognized a particular scent, _her_ scent... Meaning she was around. I had to ignore it, because only a person who was close to her, in other words, me, could recognize that smell. I heard a pair of feet scramble past me, first pausing around me, then shuffling off. I looked around, seeing her run off without me. Again.

Just how hard was she trying to get rid of me, her bodyguard?

I raced after her, once again eying her look of surprise as she looked behind to see me catching up to her. With a smug smile, she turned around, never once looking back while we were in the Easter building.

Eventually, business was off in Easter, so Utau had some free time for herself... which meant I had to escort her all around the city. She didn't try to chase me off or leave me behind anymore, so that was a relief. For Utau to finally accept defeat... seems like she's finally changing. What's next? Maybe she'll move on from her brother, finding another man in society to love...

I was following her into some park, a park I recognized as the park where Tadase, Utau, and I used to play together. Dammit... Why was she going here...? To relive memories?

"Ah, Kuukai!"

Kuukai?

"Hey, Utau! You wanted to talk?"

Kuukai...? My sister was dating this Kuukai? Impressive. And here I thought she would selfishly hang onto her feelings for me.

My sister turned around, saying, "Mamoru, this is a private matter."

Yeah, a romantic moment, I suppose. She wanted some privacy. I still had to remain close enough so rescue her if anything hazardous popped up. I took a seat by a nearby bench about thirty feet away from where the two were sitting. I didn't have much to do, so I tuned out just a bit, enjoying the calm wind blowing softly by. Hmm. Wait. She called me by my first name! Her tsundere personality was giving way.

"It's strange, Kuukai. He... he just vanished."

Eavesdropping is a bad habit, and it was my fault for misjudging the distance from where I could give them their privacy. Still...

"I looked up my brother's records this morning, and they weren't there!"

I was listening, something that I shouldn't be doing, so I resisted the temptation to look over at what they were doing. It was the least I could do.

"I... miss him..." Her voice, it was tearing up.

"All he left behind was a letter, telling me not to go look for him!" There was a silence that followed, until I finally heard the man named Kuukai speak.

"I think he wanted you to focus on your career, not fall into a pit of despair. Don't worry, I'm sure he's watching from the shadows somewhere."

Such comforting words - no wonder Utau confided in him. He gave her comfort where I could not...

"I... I have a concert tomorrow... I... really wanted to see him there..."

A concert? Tomorrow? Don't worry, I'll be there... I'll be closer than you think, Utau. I might meet Amu and the Guardians, too, if the purpose of her concert is to draw out X-eggs...

...At times like these, I wondered if disobeying my stepfather's orders was a good thing or not...

"Utau, I'm sure he'll be watching from the shadows."

Just a repeat, a repetition of something he already said. Did Utau not trust Kuukai of what he said? It was like she was just talking out loud, words flowing out but none of them entering back in. A one-sided conversation. A one-sided relationship. Something was wrong here. Was my sister just using his kindness...?

"Thank you, Kuukai."

I heard a pair of footsteps approach me.

"Come on, Mamoru."

There she went again. Finally, she's acknowledging me, my existence... as Mamoru Mizuki. Dang, it felt good. It was like seeing her for the first time again, when she was first born. That happiness...

We were on the road back to Easter; I, once again, was behind the driver's seat. This time, however, Utau took the passenger seat right next to me. Very strange. She sat there, her seat belt unbuckled, her arms hugging her legs close to her chest, looking out the window.

While at first this silence we shared was awkward, I soon was able to adapt to it. After all, I _am_ her brother in disguise. I _should_ be able to sit with my sister in silence. I really wanted to say something about what I heard, but then she'd know I'd been eavesdropping... meh.

Just then, I heard her whisper the uttermost of whispers. "...Ikuto..."

...I couldn't help myself after that.

"...Who is he... this 'Ikuto'"? I kept my attention on the road, but I could feel her stare burning holes into me. No other person besides somebody close to her could feel such a thing... besides that freaky aura she gave off every time a girl came near me. I held my body composition together. I really, really wanted to shudder back there, but...

"Why do you care?"

Yeah. As her body guard, why did I care? I was just supposed to protect her, right?

"It doesn't hurt to know who I'm dealing with." Though I _totally_ know who I'm dealing with.

"He's my brother." A short, abrupt answer to clearly imply that she didn't want to talk. The Utau I knew would do that. Though the one I knew would never answer a stranger's question out of the blue like that.

Silence. Until...

"Do you ever practice for your concerts?"

Shoot, I think I said too much...

We were at a red light, so I took the opportunity to take a good look at her, my client.

"Eavesdropping is a bad habit."

All I could do was smirk.

Eventually, we arrived at the Easter company building, where I escorted her to my... no, her home. I don't live there any more. And it's too bad...

* * *

**A/N: **And there ends the second chapter. The third and fourth chapters are done, but I'm refraining from releasing them until the final chapter (the fifth chapter) is done.

Thanks for reading! Reviews are very much appreciated.


	3. Day 03: Realization

**A/N:** Here's the third chapter. I didn't like how this turned out, so... yeah. Enjoy.

**Summary:** I had to erase my past, ignore my former self, and create a new persona, for her sake. But why did I have to hide from her?

**Disclaimer**: If I owned Shugo Chara, I wouldn't be writing this.

* * *

**Day 03: Realization**

* * *

"Do you ever practice for your concerts?"

It was the next day, a brand new day, so I'd thought I'd give the question another chance. My sister did practice for her concerts every time, usually right when I was around.

We were on the rooftop where my sister and I used to spend our lunch hour together. She allowed me to follow her up here where there was no other supervision. Speaking of vision, I left my purple eye contacts at home today. Seems like I forgot them when I prepared this morning. Lucky for me I had my sunglasses, otherwise I'd be late for work, and... maybe she would leave me behind. Maybe.

"Just shut the hell up."

Okay, okay, nothing to get angry over...

I leaned back against the exiting door, closing my eyes, relinquishing this time. What made this time so different? Was it because of... my disappearance? Was it because she was only comfortable practicing with me by her side? But what about Kuukai?

Ugh... Why am I even thinking about these things, anyway?

Especially...

"Why do you sing?"

She should sing because she _wants_ to.

"Why the hell do you care? You're just my bodyguard, so stay in your place!"

Ugh, so stubborn. So I was just her bodyguard and nothing more... I guess it's better that way. Hopefully she won't come over and pull off my sunglasses, otherwise I'd be in real trouble. She would recognize me, regardless of my hair color change. It was always the eyes that gave people away...

I stayed quiet, not wanting to anger my client anymore.

She turned around, ready to return inside. "I have to get ready for my concert," was all she said.

And all I did was follow her.

I followed her into some sort of makeup room, where then I had to wait outside so she could change into her outfit.

She came out in a beautiful blue gown, marked by shining stars. No character change? So the purpose of this concert was... it wasn't to gather X-eggs... This concert must be important, or maybe... maybe it's what she's singing, the song, that's significant...

"Excuse me, we need to talk to Hoshina Utau." Hmm? I looked up, seeing a pink haired girl with golden eyes, by her side a little boy with purple orbs. Amu and Tadase... Dammit. I'd have to pretend not to know them.

"Only authorized personnel are allowed in here."

Behind my dark sunglasses, I payed attention to the desperation of Amu's request.

"Please!"

"Only authorized personnel are allowed in here."

With a melancholy expression, she walked off, her boyfriend following. This was harder than I expected, to pretend to be another person... Pulling myself together, I walked on the stage, where Utau stood, her microphone in hand, the curtains still covering her from her audience.

She looked a bit discouraged, as if singing for this concert was something she forced herself to do. I walked from the shadows, up to her, to see her intimidating stare right at me. "Why do you sing?"

She yelled at me. Again. "Just shut the hell up! Doing this is as hard as it is!"

I could have sworn that I saw a tear drop.

I wanted to comfort her, but then... I turned away, walking back into my spot on the sidelines. The concert was about to start. The roar of the fans could be heard from all the way in here.

The spotlight turned on. The curtains drew open. This was her big moment.

The musicians and instrument players were in their place.

The pianist began playing first.

Soon, she started singing.

_Hiding within the stars that reflect in my eyes  
I'm just confused about what I can't do_

The guitar player began playing...  
_  
Even holding hands with you is awkward  
But I want us to laugh in our dreams_

I watched her sing, holding the microphone close to her lips, her voice captured and amplified by the speakers nearby. She looked mesmerizing, the dress shining under the pale blue limelight.

_The yonder of this night echoes  
And my warm chest is stirring  
Whispering as I extend my hand to the Blue Moon  
We'll be able to reach it_

The... Blue Moon? It's like... she's singing about me - her brother. Her brother who mysteriously vanished from her world, replaced by a mere bodyguard...  
_  
You just always smile tenderly  
But you won't chase me  
Every second is a glowing grain of sand  
I won't forget to let even a grain spill_

So this was why she was looking down... All the clues were there. This song... was about _me_.  
_  
The disappearing moon was not pleased  
So I claw it out from your defenseless back  
A deep scar remains  
Though I embrace the cut's evidence  
_  
She... was pouring her heart out into this song. The tears only proved it, bringing me guilt at what I had chosen to do.

_Oh fleeting Blue Moon  
Why did I come to love you?  
While we pause in the same scene  
It's too sad of a story_

Her voice was beginning to crack... C'mon, sis, you can do it! I'm at your concert!

_Looking up at the Blue Moon, I think about you  
My time has come to a stop  
The wailing of the Blue Moon doesn't end  
Swallowing up in the deep darkness_

I noticed how some of her fans had stopped their cheering and were almost deadly silent, as if they were a living corpse. Could it be...? Oh no, there were X-eggs! Even without her Character Transformation, she was still able to extract those eggs!  
_  
Although nothing will change, I'll still love you  
Even if the sky will also be torn someday  
I'll think of you for eternity_

...I turned my attention back to her, noting how emotional she was...

"Colorful Canvas!"

Something attacked the stage, effectively destroying it. The audience scattered in fear of the current event, the people who had their heart's egg extracted had to be pulled off. The Guardians were here... and so was Amu.

Utau stood in the center of the stage, inert as the Guardians surrounded her from all sides. She dropped her microphone and tried to make a run for it, only to be stopped by none other than Tadase. Dammit... I had to get out there, quick! I ran towards her, the Guardians surprised at my entrance. Against her back, I whispered, "Who the hell are these guys?" Just to prove my innocence.

"The Guardians. I don't know why they're here, though." She had stopped crying, and that was a relief.

The little king stepped forward. "Hoshina Utau! We're here to stop you from extracting eggs, permanently!"

They didn't seem to care that I was there, present by her side. Amu, too, didn't seem to show any mercy.

Whispering again, I said, "You think we can take all of them at once?" I don't know, I was feeling kind of hyped up about this.

"No," she responded.

That's right... I don't remember seeing Utau's Guardian Characters, Eru and Iru...

I couldn't get caught in a situation like this. If they defeated us, my identity would be revealed, and then...

I grabbed my sister's hand, pulling her with me as I made a dash off the stage. Ugh, man, the height was too much. Deciding to be more... um, superhero-like, I picked my client up in a style that a groom would carry his bride, then jumped. I made it, barely. When did she get so heavy?

I kept running towards the exit, noting the way my client looked at me as I carried her off.

"Platinum Royal!"

I felt something strike my feet, knocking me off balance. I tripped and fell, my head landing on Utau's abdomen area.

...Dammit. This wasn't looking good. Utau didn't seem to have the willpower to get out of here, so that left it all to me to escape the both of us. I let go of her, letting her stand up on her own, myself regaining my composure. I looked at all of them, determined to stop the two of us.

I stood in front of my client, my arms spread across, ready to protect my client.

"Don't think of escaping."

Was... was this it?

It was only my second day on the job, and it would end like this...?

No. I refuse for it to be like this. I believe that Utau did not intentionally try to extract eggs from her fans, as she didn't use a Character Transformation. It just sorta happened. The Guardians, they've got it all wrong!

I saw one of them charge at me, a girl with purple hair. I turned around, holding Utau close to my chest, feeling the shots vibrate off my back, and then my head... Ugh. I felt weak, my consciousness giving way, my sister looking at me, the supposed Mamoru Mizuki with _those_... eyes.

The last thing I heard was my true name.

* * *

**A/N: **Eh... Again, I don't feel that this chapter went out as planned, but then again, that's just me talking.

As always, thanks for reading! Reviews are very much appreciated.


	4. Day 04: Comfort

**A/N: **Here's the fourth chapter.

**Summary:** I had to erase my past, ignore my former self, and create a new persona, for her sake. But why did I have to hide from her?

**Disclaimer**: If I owned Shugo Chara, I wouldn't be writing this.

* * *

**Day 04: Comfort**

* * *

I woke up, the first thing I heard being a constant beeping sound.

I was on a bed of some sort, dressed in plain white clothes. I looked around the room, seeing how it was all white. Nobody was around. I was alone.

Suddenly, I heard the voice of a very familiar person.

"Let me in there."

"I'm sorry ma'am, only relatives are allowed to visit him, and according to his records, he doesn't have any living relatives. His only sister died long ago from depression."

"I don't care about that! Just let me in!"

I heard some shuffling of sorts, then something banged on the door.

"Miss, if you continue this behavior, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave."

I closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep, so that I could avoid the talks right now. I could imagine the sorrow she went through, only to find out her brother was next to her all along. I could imagine how she would cry and talk to me about all of that, and I just couldn't stand seeing her like that.

The door slammed shut, my client walking in and taking a seat on my right. I tried to remain still as possible when she ran her fingers through my hair, so that she wouldn't start talking to me. I didn't need that right now. That was, until she began tickling me...

The pain relieved in my back, and I could no longer contain my laughter.

"Stop it! Hah.a..... ha... haAAHAHAHA!!! STOP IT, PLEASE!!!"

"I didn't know you were still ticklish, Ikuto."

That name... no. No. Did she derail my mask?

"That's not my name. It's Mamoru Mizuki." It was a futile attempt, but I had my pride to look after.

I shifted my gaze towards her, sitting in the chair next to my bed, dressed elegantly in a silk white dress.

"Okay, then, Mamoru, can I call you by the nickname 'Ikuto'?"

Dammit, she got me good. I didn't have my sunglasses or my purple contacts at the moment, so my sapphire orbs were revealed for all to see. Especially to the girl sitting next to where I was lying.

I ignored her question, countering her with a question of mine.

"What happened after I fell?"

She pressed forward, clasping my hand with both of hers. "Your sunglasses fell off and broke. The Guardians fled after you fell, screaming something about how they had gone too far."

From my position, she looked like an angel. My guardian angel. The white dress only proved my point. She looked so innocent, so... perfect. I lied there, looking back into her eyes, seeing how incredibly happy she was right now.

"I never knew you were that strong, big brother, to carry me like that." A small smile formed on her lips.

Dammit, she knew. I could no longer hide it. Accepting defeat, I responded, "What gave me away?"

She paused for a moment, looking ever so closely into my eyes, then said, "...Your eyes. No matter what, your eyes never lie."

Such a mature statement coming from my little sister. Then again, she did know me much better than anybody else out there, because she and I grew up together. She understood me better than most people. She_ is_ my sister, after all. My only sister.

I didn't respond to her comment, scared that I would ruin her mood. In fact, I didn't even know how to respond to such a comment, except by just eying her with awe.

"Why did you take on a new identity? Why did you just run away?" She grasped my hand closer to her chest, her eyes looking at mine in desperation. What happened to her calm, serene self just a few seconds ago?

"Do you know how worried I was!?" Those eyes, those teary eyes, I couldn't take it. I couldn't stand seeing her cry like this.

"It was ordered by Mr. Director." Just with that statement, she loosened her hold on my hand and calmed down.

I looked towards my side, avoiding her gaze. There was this massive pang of guilt pounding my chest, and I couldn't bear looking back at her.

"You know, when I saw you stick your hand out to stop the elevator, I knew you were different from the rest. Though your sunglasses concealed your eyes, there was a familiar aura around you, something that made me feel comfortable."

I looked back, listening to her voicing her thoughts.

"At first, I merely passed it as something mundane. But when you stuck your hand out to stop the elevator doors the second time, I knew that you were different. No bodyguard of mine has ever survived past the first part, and you here were able to live through two of my attempted escapes."

Her hands still grasped around mine, she brought it in contact with her chest, her bosom.

"I looked up your personnel file using one of the computers, to find that you never worked for the company, nor had you ever existed. It was like you had abandoned the world... and I was the only one who remembered you. I called Kuukai up, the boy you saw me with yesterday, for a talk.

"We met in a ramen shop some time ago, and only then did I call him again. I needed somebody to listen to my sorrows, my fears, my thoughts, and ultimately, myself. Kuukai was the only other person that popped up in my mind. But when I talked to him that day, something felt out of place, like something was missing. Even with him, I couldn't feel at ease. I realized then that it was you that I needed by my side."

She smiled at me for a while, then continued.

"It turns out you were there all along, big brother. You never abandoned me, you never did. I just didn't realize it."

There was a silence that followed.

"Did you listen to what I sang at my concert?"

"Yes." I was in no position to lie.

"How was it?" Utau asked.

I decided to cheer her up somehow. "I had never seen you sing with such emotion. I think of all the people I've seen, you're the only one who cried while singing."

She just looked at me with_ those _eyes.

"Your song was very understanding. It... spoke out to me." I know that the song was about me. I know. Because I'm her brother. Her Blue Moon.

She smiled sweetly, then suddenly looked downcast. "I'm sorry. For yelling at you like that." Her tone conveyed a sense of absolute regret. She could be true to herself, at least.

"It's fine," I said, raising a hand to pat her head. "You didn't know."

She leaned on me, her head on my shoulder. "It will be different like this, won't it? Now that I know who you really are, how will things go on?"

That's right. Because she knew who I was now, things would change. Drastically. If Mr. Director found out about this...

"We'll have to pretend to not know each other in broad daylight."

She finished my other thought for me. "And only when we are alone can we truly be ourselves, the siblings that we are."

I would meet up with Amu and the Guardians again someday. Though continuing on the path I'm walking would force me to ignore her, I would eventually see her again. One day, I would be able to take off my mask completely. For now, the only person I could reveal my true self to would be my sister.

"Speaking of which, did you plan on gathering eggs at your concert?" I never confirmed it.

She responded, her head still on my shoulder, "I didn't. Gathering eggs requires a Character Transformation, remember?"

Right. I remember. Then it _was_ unintentional...

The door opened, and an angry-looking nurse stood by the doorway. "Ma'am, you need to leave, now. The patient will be released in an hour or so, so could you please wait until then?"

Utau stood from where she was, and began walking out. Before she stepped out the door, she turned around and said, "I'll see you then." I gave a curt smile in return. The door closed shut, and my sister exited.

Like the nurse said, I was released later that day.

* * *

**A/N:** The next chapter will be the last one.

If you didn't realize it, the song featured in the previous chapter is "Blue Moon", a song released with Utau's Meikyuu Butterfly single.

Thanks for reading! Reviews are very much appreciated.


	5. Day 05: Acknowledgment

**A/N: **Here's the last chapter.

**Summary:** I had to erase my past, ignore my former self, and create a new persona, for her sake. But why did I have to hide from her?

**Disclaimer**: If I owned Shugo Chara, I wouldn't be writing this.

* * *

**Day 05: Acknowledgment**

* * *

"Mamoru."

"Yes, Mr. Director."

"With consideration to recent events, I've decided that you will move in with your client, Hoshina Utau. With people like those Guardian kids or whatever they're called running around, we can't risk having her injured. Is that understood?"

I was in my stepfather's office, Utau standing nearby the door in the background.

"Yes, Mr. Director." Haha, the poor, clueless bastard. He didn't know Utau already knows my identity, and with the current situation he's imploring on us, it will only be a matter of time before he realizes that we are in a prime position where there was the _possibility_ that she'll figure out my true identity. How dumb could this guy get? There was also the possibility that the public would find out, then things would get really, really bad.

"Mr. Director, I firmly object to this call. I could use the extra protection, but that does not mean my bodyguard should intrude in my home!" Utau spoke from behind me.

I'll say this again: my stepfather is a poor, clueless bastard.

Utau and I already planned this out in advance, so we could "convince" my stepfather that we were still on a bodyguard-client relationship.

"Utau! You will follow my orders! I finally hired a bodyguard capable of tolerating you, and I won't let this go to waste! Do you know how hard it is for me to find somebody like Mamoru!?"

Man, this guy was funny. I'm sure Utau was mocking him as well.

Her voice a bit weaker, she responded, "Yes, sir."

Looking satisfied, the old man sat down, then said, "You two are dismissed."

We walked out, holding in our snickers as to what had happened. And here we thought that with age comes wisdom. Guess not. The retarded fool was gullible. Really gullible.

I moved back to the house where my sister and I once lived together, my sister helping me in the process. Overall there wasn't much to move - just my suitcase packed full of clothes and the like, my violin, and the picture I took along. When Utau saw that picture, however, she became interested in why I took it along. "To remember you," I told her. She locked me in a bear hug after that.

When we finished, it was around noon, so we headed to the rooftop of the Easter building for lunch like we always did. We ate our lunches in peace, not much changed since a few days ago.

"So you'll continue being my bodyguard?" she asked.

"Yeah, I guess. I can't get fired, and this seems like an easy job." Except the part where I have to take all the shots aimed at her. That was hell.

"You know, sometimes I wish the world wasn't so cruel towards us. Especially to you, big brother."

"Why?" I asked, sitting side by side with her.

"So you wouldn't have to live a life like this. So that you can be yourself, and not mask it, hiding yourself from the world."

What she said... she really did understand me. But... did I understand her...?

"Sometimes, I wish the world wasn't so cruel to you, little sister."

She turned to look at me, a curious look in her eyes.

"That way, you wouldn't have to suffer because of me."

Utau looked like she was going to cry. "Ikuto..." She looked back up to me, a faint smile apparent on her face. "You know how to touch a woman's heart."

"Just like how you know how to touch a man's heart." I smiled softly, returning her gesture and comment.

We sat like that for quite some time, enjoying the presence of each other's company. Peace, we were at. That is, until my sister decided to bring up another topic.

"Do you have any regrets?"

I carefully thought through her question, to find that I had none. I was fine with life... for now.

"No."

"What about the pink haired girl that's always on your mind?"

Amu... Maybe I'll pay a surprise visit to her someday. There was something about that girl that I liked, something that was alluring about her. But for now, I'd entrust her to the little king, Tadase. I know he'll keep her safe in my place. Then one day I'll come from the shadows and go after her.

"I'll get her one day," I said, trying not to put much emphasis on it, fearing that I would hurt my sister's feelings.

"That's fine, Ikuto." She said it without any regrets.

This in turn interested me. For her to accept that she and I would not exist as a couple, but rather brother and sister...

"Just as long as you promise to spend some family time with me every now and then. I don't want to lose you."

I knew there had to be a catch.

"All right." Didn't this count as family time, though? Wouldn't I be spending "family time" with her until I was able to take off my mask?

Oh, wait... right. We couldn't acknowledge our brother-sister relationship during that time, unless we were out of the public eye. Otherwise...

"Hey, Utau." She turned to meet my eyes. "Did any of the Guardians see who I was?"

Utau shook her head. "No. I made sure of that."

That's good. If any of them found out, we would be in an extremely big mess. And if Amu found out... Hmm, what _would_ happen if she found out?_ But she didn't. I can trust my sister._

Speaking of which, I remember hearing my name just before I passed out. Who was it that spoke?

"Did anybody say my name before I passed out?" I had to know who it was. From what I remembered, it sounded a lot like Utau's voice, but I had to make sure.

She lied down on the ground, her arms crossed behind her back, gazing at the sky above. "That was me, after the Guardians started to scatter."

You know, maybe this isn't half bad. At least here my sister and I could be true to ourselves, we could be open and honest to each other. Trust, it was called. I think. We trusted each other. I couldn't think of anybody else who I could put my trust into at the moment. As much as I wanted to trust Amu, I hardly knew anything about her. One day, I'll meet up with her, and learn more about her. Definitely.

"Well, come on, Ikuto. We have to get back to work." She stood and signaled me to follow her. She didn't need to do that, but whatever. I found myself doing so even if she didn't signal to.

I nodded, then followed her back into the Easter building.

_One day, I wouldn't have to hide anymore._

* * *

**A/N: **Well, that's the finale, hopefully it suits your tastes.

Thanks for sticking with me this far! Now give me a review. Please. =D


	6. Day 06: Content

**A/N: **Okay, so I lied about Day 05 being the last chapter. This, however, _will_ be the last one, unless... if I lie again.**  
****  
****Thanks to Aaron for proof reading! **He doesn't have a FanFiction account, but I felt like crediting him.  
**  
****Random Thought: **There are a lot of Amuto fics. And when I say _a lot_, I mean it.**  
****  
****Summary:** I had to erase my past, ignore my former self, and create a new persona, for her sake. But why did I have to hide from her?

**Disclaimer**: If I owned Shugo Chara, I wouldn't be writing this.

* * *

**Day 06: Content****  
**

* * *

"Hey, Ikuto. What should we watch?"

"How about a movie?"

"Boring. What do we have, anyways?"

"Just a copy of 'Twelve Angry Men'."

"That piece of junk? I don't get the point of that film. Most of it is about twelve men talking about something."

"Utau, when you get older, you'll realize that film is indeed a good one."

"Right..."

I was bored. Period. I would play my violin, but in my home, it didn't fit the atmosphere. So I settled with arguing with my sister. Better than sitting down and contemplating on my thoughts. Though "Twelve Angry Men" had its upsides, the majority of the film was shot inside a debate room. A low budget film with maximum profits. Overall, there were only fourteen actors: the suspect, the witness, and the twelve men on jury duty.

All but one judged the suspect guilty, the one person not doing so an old man who didn't think that such a young man could commit such a murder. The majority of the men wanted to get the case over quickly. However, the case lasted several more hours, where the jury decided there was too much doubt that the witness actually_ saw_ the suspect commit murder. Epic film, though most would say otherwise.

It was nine twenty eight post meridian, nearly time for us to prepare for the next day. Utau finished her... stuff, dressing or whatever it was that she was doing. I was ready for bed, but she wanted me to stay up for a while longer to do something with her. And apparently, it wouldn't be a movie.

"Hurry up, Utau, otherwise I'm going to bed." Man, why did she take so long to do whatever she's doing?

I heard a pair of footsteps coming my way. "Coming, coming!"

She took the couch seat beside me, in her hands some pieces of paper. "Here, Ikuto. Take a look at this."

I picked up a paper, finding lyrics to a song carefully written on it.

_Even if it seems like you're being crushed by sadness, don't make that face__  
__Throw away the offerings of cheap pride__  
__  
__Live your life without turning your eyes away from the sun__  
__That's right! I want to smile, I want to frolic, I honestly__  
__Am feeling that way, a bright happiness__  
__I definitely won't lose to anyone who tries to steal my dreams away__  
__I want to tell you right now, I want to hold you, patiently take a deep breath__  
__The sun fits you, it looks like your brilliant smile__  
__  
__Even when you're being swallowed by the stretched, rectangular shape of the building__  
__Don't be afraid, turn yourself around, and flap your wings and go__  
__  
__When you're deeply wounded, and getting tired of crying, go to sleep__  
__I regret it, I want to love you, I want you to love me, so lonely__  
__The long nights will become my sustenance,__  
__I won't let anyone talk about anyone behind their backs__  
__In the end, I'm not confident, I have no self, so boring, I can only run away__  
__Don't worry, now grasp the greatest moment__  
__  
__Glorious Sunshine!__  
__  
__Live your life without turning your eyes away from the sun__  
__If you do that, the goddesses will bless you with a kiss,__  
__A throbbing, bright happiness__  
__In the center of my heart, a wavering light went through, it was surely you__  
__The person who will find the real meaning behind the light__  
__The sun fits you, now let's sing a joyous song._

Just... wow. Wow. Wooooow. Amazing. Such a bright song after the previous one she sung about me.

"I like it."

"Really?" She scooted in close enough so that she had one of my arms in her grasp.

I nodded, reassuring her that I did. If there was one thing that cheered me up, it was my sister singing. I don't know why, but it just did.

"Good," she said, "now you have to write a melody for it."

Wait. WHAT!? "Utau, you can't be serious." I looked at her, and all I could see was the truth. She really did want me to make a tune for her new song. But what could I do with only my violin? Maybe she wanted me to play my instrument in the song, as proof that we worked on the song together.

She gazed at me, while I stared blankly at her. I saw the slightest of smiles crack on her face, eventually coming to a laughter. "I can't believe you fell for that!" She stuck her tongue out at me, and I could only scoot back a bit to avoid it.

Dammit! How could I be so gullible!?

Her laughter soon came to a halt, then she spoke again. "Although, I would like you to play your violin with me on stage when I sing this at my next concert."

That I could do. But wouldn't it bring commotion? And if the Guardians were there, they would see the similarities between "Mamoru" and me... but knowing my sister, she probably had something planned out already to avoid this.

"All right." Now, could I go to sleep?

She leaned on my arm, using it as support. I, in turn, tried ignoring this, only to find that my body relaxed at her warm touch. Her hands found mine, entangling them together. I felt comfort from this, reassurance, instead of the usual awkwardness and tenseness. Feeling more peaceful, I leaned my head on hers, enjoying the warmth she radiated.

The candle light we set on the table some time ago burnt out, engulfing our visions in darkness. We sat on the couch in the night, the only thing allowing us to see being the light of the full moon outside.

"Hey, Ikuto. Do you think I should go back to school?"

Where did that question come from? It was just so random that I couldn't pull the pieces together. I know she quit high school to pursue a singing career with Easter, and by doing so, she cut her social ties with people her age. Did she want to put her career on hiatus while she finished her high school years?

"Are you happy with the way things are right now?" I asked, buying me some time to think of an answer to her previous question, only to realize that I already answered her question with another question.

"Yeah," she whispered.

I couldn't exactly see her facial expression, but it was probably one of content. If she's happy where she is right now, then why change it, right? I suppose I was in the same situation, content with what I had right now.

We sat there for some time, until it became so deathly quiet that we could hear the tick of the clock. My sister broke hand contact to step up and walk off. This seemed a bit too sudden and not her character, so I followed her. So no 'good night'?

"By the way, it's your turn to do the dishes," she stated, walking in her room and shutting her bedroom door.

What. The. Hell. She could have told me three hours ago that I had to do them! It was late, and I didn't want to do anything but head to bed. Grumbling a bit, I headed towards the kitchen, where I found a large pile of dishes. A very big pile of dishes. God dammit, Utau! You didn't even wash your dishes from the past couple of days when I wasn't here!

She gets to go to sleep while I stay up late to do her dirty work... My pride wouldn't let me just go to bed. I'll show her... I turned on the water, getting the soap and necessary items to wash dishes. As soon as the water hit the right temperature, I picked up the first dish, finding that something had been burned into it. Well, when an inexperienced chef starts out, this happens.

That girl, she was really pushing on my nerves... I really wanted to just trash that dish because it would take forever to clean it, but instead I put the dish on the counter to work on later. I picked up the second dish, ready to start working on it, when I heard a familiar voice.

"Wow, Ikuto. It looks like you could use some help."

I stopped what I was doing, and turned to look at her. She had some smirk on her face, her hands were on her waist, looking at me as if I were some poor creature. "Look, Utau, if you want to help, just get over here already."

She took the spot to my left, then saying, "I'll rinse, you wash."

And here I thought she would help me with the cleaning. That girl, even though she offered to help, I still had to do all the hard work!

...The second dish was easy to clean, there was just the normal stuff on it. Utau took the dish, rinsed all the suds off, even smelling it to make sure it didn't smell too much like soap, then put the dish down to dry. Well, at least she took her job seriously, even if she didn't get paid for it.

It was a quiet activity, dish washing, that is. Eventually, we finished clearing the pile of dishes from the sink, though there was that one dish that remained. "Utau, throw this dish out, please." I handed her the burnt out dish, pointing to the trash can in the corner. No way am I spending two hours trying to clean that.

She took the dish and put it back in the sink, then submerged it in the water. "I'll clean it later," she said, giving me a small smile.

I rinsed my hands, scrubbing all the soap off, while my sister approached me from behind, wrapping her arms around my waist. "Good night." I turned around, catching her gaze. I didn't know what to do when I looked into her violet hues which showed nothing but love. With her arms now around my neck, she tiptoed to give me a peck on my cheek, then ran off.

"Good night," I said to myself, though Utau wasn't around to hear it.

That wasn't so bad. At least I didn't have to stay up past eleven to finish this. Thanks, Utau.

I slept peacefully that night, oddly enough.

* * *

I awoke to find that I was holding something, or rather, somebody, in a close hug. Opening my eyes, the first thing that stuck out was a patch of golden blond hair. Utau? When did she get in here...? I don't remember inviting her in my room. She must have snuck in while I was asleep.

Why was I even holding her so close to me? I reckon she would pull me into a hug, but for me to do the same... She was so close, I could practically hear her breathe. I felt so warm and comfortable that I didn't want to move from this position, but I know we both had work today.

"Hey, sis." I shook her small frame gently, careful not to force her to wake up. I know she hated that, and if I did happen to do so, she would pull me in closer, then sleep for another half hour. I... no, _we_ couldn't afford that.

Slowly but steadily, she stirred, opening her eyes in the most beautiful fashion.

"Utau, we have to get to work." I would let what she did slide just this one time.

Apparently, she didn't want such a thing, as she pulled me closer, too close, I should say, too close for comfort. "No. I wanna sleep."

Ugh, I would have to be the responsible one. I tried breaking free from her grasp, but she kept a tight lock on me. I guess that meant that the only way out of bed would be to take her with me... The mere thought of that made me hesitate, thinking of how my sister would respond. Would she start teasing me? Start advancing on me? I didn't want to know, but apparently, I had no choice. She was stuck on me, so I picked her up as I got out of bed.

Luckily, gravity did wonders, and she eventually plopped down to the floor. I stood there as she growled, standing up to meet me. "You know, Utau, for a fourteen year old idol, you act like a child," I began, "you should be setting a good example for your fans." I don't know why I said that, usually I don't make any comments at all, but this time, I felt more open. Despite being restricted due to Easter's assignment for me, I felt open, at peace.

"Shut up, Ikuto." She gave a child-like pout while saying that, though.

I merely shrugged, then went to get ready for work, this time not forgetting my purple eye contacts.

We did the usual, as in I drove her to work. From there, Sanjo-san gave Utau her next assignment: to head down to the Easter music building and submit her song. Apparently, we were going to practice the concert today. Which meant I would have to go home and bring my violin along. We drove back home to grab it, only to come back to the car and find it out of order. The ignition wouldn't start.

"The car's dead," I told Utau.

"Great, we'll just have to walk there. It isn't far from here, luckily." Utau had to go back in and grab a couple of clothes to hide herself from plain sight. Not good to find a singing star aimlessly walking around in public. She'd get slaughtered. If it wasn't from the public, then it'd be from me.

It was about two miles, roughly a half-hour walk if we made haste. I asked Utau to carry my violin, to avoid suspicion that I was the former Ikuto. She grumbled and gave a child-like rant, but eventually she gave in. Haha, how'd she like having to carry a fifteen pound item on her back?

We were about half-way there when I noticed a familiar shade of pink hair. Could it be...? Yes, it could be! The Guardians were walking towards us! Amu would be there... Heheheheh.

"Ikuto, be careful." Utau must have noticed as well, as she cautiously slowed down to a halt. I followed her lead, not wanting to face them alone. I stood by her side, my hands in my pockets as I watched the Guardians walk ever so slowly towards us. Hopefully, they would just pass us as if we were normal citizens, but I still had the same appearance as of the day of the attack. That would be a cause for worry.

Utau was probably thinking that we would get into another fight with them. Any other girl would have avoided such a situation. But Utau, on the other hand, wasn't one of those girls. She's one of those who doesn't back down from a fight. Ever. Especially if I was at her side.

I watched them come up to us, suddenly changing their carefree attitudes into those of warriors. They noticed us. If not _us_, then they noticed_ me_. Utau began advancing towards them, wearing whatever expression she was wearing. She waved her hand at me, probably signaling me to follow her.

At last, they met. Utau and the pink haired girl, Amu. Time froze around us; though there weren't any fists or words thrown, there were invisible sparks of war flickering back and forth between the two girls. I felt uneasy, as if the two girls would actually start a street fight, so I stepped forward in front of my sister.

"Wait, don't-!" Too late.

With one hand in my pocket and one on my waist, I leaned towards the pink haired girl and said, "Do you need something, Miss?" This was Amu here, Hinamori Amu. The pink haired girl stared at me with a flustered expression, her eyes cocked for a fight. I wanted to go about my normal teasing routine with her, but that couldn't be done...

She scoffed, then turning away from me, stated, "Yeah, listen... sorry about the other day." And just like that, she and her Guardians walked off.

Well, sorry wouldn't cut it... Their attack on the stadium a few days ago cost Easter around a couple of million in damages. I found it extremely strange how Easter didn't press charges against the young group of kids, but I didn't care much. If they did bring them to trial, I would have to testify in court. I didn't want that.

But for her to admit such a thing to her rival...

"Thanks, Iku- Mamoru." Hmm. She caught herself this time.

I didn't say anything, as again, I didn't have much practice with my accent. I simply nodded at her, in return she gave a small grin and continued towards the Easter studio.

The first thing she did when we entered the studio was give me the violin case I had her carry earlier. She looked a bit tired, exhausted, almost, and I felt guilt at that. Nevertheless, I followed her to where the powder room was, where I had to wait outside for her to change into an outfit. I didn't understand why she even had to do such a thing. Isn't this just a practice?

She came out... transformed. No, like... she was a brand new person. New outfit, even a new hair style! Instead of the two pig tails she usually wore, she let her hair flow freely down, giving me the impression that she was maturer than her age. "You look nice." I have no idea where that came from.

Utau merely blushed at my comment, smiling radiantly as she tried to respond to my compliment. Or so I thought. She didn't say anything.

With my violin in hand, I approached the stage, where I began warming up to play my instrument. I strung the bow, where I began to play a melody. Her new song was a happy, lively one, so mine had to match the same mood. From the corner of my eye, I saw Utau just standing there and watching me play. The atmosphere was different somehow, and stopped playing because... there was something off. I looked around to see all eyes on me. That's right, all eyes.

"What?" I asked, specifically directing the question towards my sister. Everybody just "unfroze" and resumed their normal routine, except _her_. She was the only one who approached me.

"Could we practice at home?" she asked, her eyes wide in amazement.

"Yeah, sure." I reckon it was how well I played my father's violin.

Oh, man, she squealed and cooed like a fan girl. But meh, what did you expect? She'll always be like that around me.

I looked around, seeing nothing much around, except for a couple of musicians and... well, Utau. Her song was printed on the paper in her hands, and it seemed that they were about to start. I, for one, took a front row seat, watching them change the lime lights and experiment with the backgrounds.

I really wanted to see Utau sing. It just made my day...

She stood up on the stage, her microphone in her hand, her song paper in the other. I watched her gaze at her audience, in other words, me. She smiled, and I raised my eyebrow. What was going on...?

The lights shut down. Well, here it comes... The lime light, a brilliant shade of yellow, shown on her. The musicians began playing without cue. I sat back, and watched it all begin.

Reading her song is a totally different experience than hearing her sing it. Definitely. Watching her sing, hearing her fine melody leave echoes in the stadium, seeing her shine in the spotlight. There was just something different, something alluring about it. I couldn't help but grin throughout her entire performance. Something about the way she did it filled me with a warm feeling which I craved more of. Her singing... was, no,_ is_ addictive.

Eventually, she finished, and man, did she look drained. Like she put her heart, her soul into her song... I came up to her, approached her from behind. Putting an arm on her shoulder, I told her, "You did a good job."

She jumped back in shock, but then turned around and gave one of her cute smiles, then told me that we could go home right now. The Easter folks were clearing out the building, basically leaving us two alone in the building. Hmm...

"Do you mind? Practicing here instead of at home..."

My sister glanced at me, probably wondering why I was even asking such a thing.

First off, there's nobody around. Second, I feel like I'm in the right atmosphere. Third... well, we were both here.

She nodded, smiling again, this time holding her hands to her chest as she sang.

I began the tune I played earlier, while Utau sang her song for the second time. Beautiful, the music was. Though there was nobody watching us, though we were acting in the shadows, though there was no spotlight, we were there. This would be a memory only the two of us would remember.

I packed my violin after finishing the second rehearsal, meeting with Utau by the exit to escort her home. She was still in the same outfit; she didn't change out of it.

"Well?" I walked by her side this time. I wanted to talk to her, and it wouldn't do any good if I was talking to her back.

"Well what?" She refrained from hanging onto my arm, but she kept on looking at me with that child-like expression.

"Nothing." We walked silently back to our home, where I noted that Easter had replaced the busted car.

Whatevers.

As soon as I closed the door, she jumped on me. No, like jump jump. The knocking me to the floor kind of jump. Well, at least now we could take off our masks.

I set my sunglasses aside, my violet contacts and violin case I put in their appropriate places.

I chuckled. "Amazing, sis. I didn't know you had that in you." Well technically, I did. I am her brother, after all.

"Thanks, Ikuto." It was kind of muffled, the way she said it, because she burrowed her face into my chest.

So just how long did I have to lay here with Utau on top of me...? We were right in front of the door, and the entry rug was kind of dirty... "Utau, if you're going to jump on me, at least do it where we can have a soft landing." ...You know what I just realized? I just gave her open permission to jump on me in bed. Dammit.

She chuckled a bit, then finally got off of me. I didn't like the dark look on her face. It was the kind of look that you know she's planning something mischievous.

Speaking of mischievous...

"Utau, it's your turn to wash the dishes."

"Okay!"

Only after she attached herself to my arm and dragged me to the kitchen did I realize that there were no dishes to wash.

"By the way, what movie do you want to watch tonight?"

Man, not this again...

* * *

**A/N: **The song that's featured in this chapter is "Taiyou ga Niau yo" (commonly known as "Glorious Sunshine"), released in the second Shugo Chara! character song collection.

Well... that's it, I think. Eh, I might continue this... if desired. For now, I'm leaving it as "complete".

As always, thanks for reading! Reviews are appreciated greatly.


	7. Day 07: Beloved

**A/N: **Okay, so I lied. Again.

Days 06 and above are not part of the original storyline. Please keep that in mind; they are more like possible insights into the sibling time Ikuto spends with Utau.

And as you can see, this story is AU-ish. Somewhat.

**Random Thought: **Bananas are a type of herb, not a type of fruit.**  
**

**Summary:** I had to erase my past, ignore my former self, and create a new persona, for her sake. But why did I have to hide from her?

**Disclaimer**: If I owned Shugo Chara, I wouldn't be writing this.

* * *

**Day 07: Beloved**

* * *

I opened my eyes, unsure of the wavering heat source in proximity of my body. I shouldn't be so surprised; Utau, once again, had sneaked into my room during the night. The thought of purchasing a lock came into mind, but that would be too cruel - locking my sister out? Too cruel. Rather, the thought of locking my sister out of my room left me with a sense of guilt. Locking her out of my room would be locking her out of my life... from her perspective, at least.

And once again, I found myself in her embrace, from which I seemed to return. Again. What was happening? Why was I like this? First time, it felt extremely awkward and comforting, but this time, there was only comfort. Where did the awkwardness go? I lied in her arms, the warmth of her breath enticing the base of my neck, arousing me in an uttermost pleasant way. This wasn't supposed to be happening.

I'd been a bit more lenient to her for these intimate contacts, but I had to draw the line somewhere. If this went on for much longer, then...

Her hold on me wasn't as strong as yesterday's, so I was able to slip out of her arms easily. There was still some time before we had to leave for work, so I'd let her sleep until then. Walking out to the front door, I noticed that something had been slipped in: a newspaper. Curious to what the headline was, I picked it up, the horror of this day beginning to peak.

_Hoshina Utau Found With Boyfriend_

...was on the headline, printed in large, bold letters. Beneath it was a black and white photo of me and Utau in a car, driving down a street.

This... was not good. Not good. Dammit, now what are we going to do!? Mr. Director was sure to get me for this, and then Utau... how would she take this? Knowing her, she would probably take glee to this news, because all she really wanted was my love, my attention... She had them. But what she didn't have was me as a boyfriend, and for that...

The house phone rang, and I could only imagine who could be calling. I didn't want to answer the phone, but Easter knew that we were at home. I didn't have a choice. I picked it up, holding the device to my ear. "Ikuto. Report to my office with Utau IMMEDIATELY." The line went dead after that.

I. Am. Screwed. Period. Placing the paper back where I found it, I went to wake my sister up, only to find that she was already up and about in my room.

"Who called?" She was sitting up in my bed, the covers still draped over her.

"My boss. We have to go."

She nodded, then stepped up, letting the blanket drop down to the floor. To my surprise, she wore almost nothing. She had only the bare essentials, her brassiere and underwear the only things covering her body. What the hell is she trying to do? Thank goodness nothing happened...

Still, I couldn't let this go pass. There was a limit, and she'd broken it. "Utau. At least dress yourself properly if you decide to drop by unannounced."

She merely stood there, a smile lingering in her face. "This is what I wear to bed, big brother." Dammit, she had that flirty tone... and I know she did that on purpose. Technically, she wasn't lying, as she didn't go to sleep nude, but...

Right, right. I highly doubt it. But we were wasting time right now, and if I didn't get there soon, my boss would have my hide. "Just get dressed." Oh, and no way was I showing her the newspaper. The last thing I needed was to have my sister jump all over me.

I watched her walk out, noticing how her right bra strap was about to fall off. I shuddered. I shouldn't be thinking about things like that. This is my sister, for god's sake! No big brother would want to see that, unless if... meh, I'd rather not go there.

I was able to hide the newspaper under my pillow, thank goodness, and we rushed towards the Easter building. Besides from the morning... um, situation, Utau seemed to behaving quite quietly. She didn't make an attempt to flirt with me, and she didn't jump on me without warning.

I entered my stepfather's office, Utau trailing about a few feet behind as I awaited his orders, or whatever he was going to say.

He walked around, throwing his hands up in frustration, the newspaper in one hand... Yeah, I was screwed. From the looks of things, since he didn't kick Utau out of the office, she'd find out about this predicament, too. Though she wouldn't see it as one... that worried me the most.

"Mamoru! Utau!" He threw the paper against the wooden surface of his desk, the same newspaper that held the outrageous headline. Utau stepped forward so that she was at my side, her face in an auspicious grin as she read the title.

"Do you know what this means!? You two have just put out entire company's reputation in the trash! For now, I'm placing both of you on suspension in your home. IMMEDIATELY. Now GET OUT!!!"

We didn't even get a chance to speak, and yet we were already facing a closed door. Mr. Director was really, really mad. And he's throwing his frustrations on us...

So apparently, we were on suspension for some unidentified amount of time, to be confined in the walls of our home. We wouldn't be able to go out, unless somebody from Easter gave the call. I suppose he gave the order to give the public some time to cool down about the ordeal. Lucky for me, I wasn't screwed over. Utau, on the other hand...

"When do you suppose that rumor began?" She looked at me, her facade emotionless to the naked eye.

"Who knows." I tried sounding neutral, but the distress I _know_ my sister would put me through was coming on fast.

When we walked out to the parking lot, we found that our car had been abducted. Hijacked. Stolen. Just our luck. We would have to either request a transport, or walk home... knowing Utau, she was too prideful to ask for help, so I decided on the latter. But just in case...

"Should we ask for a ride home?" I asked, my voice a bit jittery because I was unsure how she would react. Wait... I _do _know how she'd react. Never mind. Then why was my voice cracking up a bit?

Utau glanced at me with a raised eyebrow, as if she was questioning why I asked that question. With her arms crossed, she walked off, but not too fast so that I would have to run to catch up to her. Well, guess we're walking home.

In our current situation, it would be extremely easy for a person to spot us... meaning we would be surrounded really quickly. Utau didn't seem to care about that, as she was walking her normal speed - not too fast, not too slow; as her brother I can only assume that she's not afraid of being surrounded by a mob.

Feeling a bit tense, I followed her, occasionally looking around to see if anybody spotted us. So far, we were about half way there, that was until I unintentionally ran into a civilian while looking behind. I would have to be extremely careful... "Are you okay, sir?" I extended my hand to him, and he took it, much to my relief. Utau, luckily, had stopped, turned around, and was waiting for me to finish my ordeal.

The boy could not be older than ten; he had the appearance of a young adolescent child. He stared at me with wide emerald eyes, and the realization hit me: he recognized me. He ran off, hopefully he wouldn't tell a random person that he saw Hoshina Utau's "boyfriend" a few minutes ago. Hopefully. Though knowing how a child's mind works, I highly doubt he'll keep quiet.

My sister had been watching the entire ordeal with a small smile. But with her arms crossed, it didn't seem so. "You're good with children."

I could only give her a slight smile in return, but I wondered why she made that comment. I was really good with children... Hmm... I continued to ponder on my thoughts until I heard an announcement somebody made with a speaker phone.

"We've found them! We've found them!"

I made a three hundred and sixty degree turn, seeing my fear come true. There it was, a herd of about a hundred people, running this way towards us. If I didn't do anything, we wound be surrounded within a few seconds... I ran ahead of Utau, taking her hand so I wouldn't lose her in the streets, as she was walking ever so slowly with her eyes focused on the ground.

I didn't want to look back, I didn't want to waste a possible second in which the mob would catch up to us, I didn't want to be surrounded by them. I liked being alone, as being confined in a crowded area was one of my pet peeves. Having one person with me during my alone time was okay, but any more than that... we'd have problems.

Every now and then I would look back to see if I lost them... finally, I was able to pull Utau into a secluded alleyway, thank goodness it wasn't the kind where there was a dead end on the other side. Even so, holding my sister's hand, being in such a place with her... after this morning, I could only imagine what she would do. Yes, all of this was awkward, yet I endured, because my little sister needed her big brother to protect her.

We were safe.. for now. "All right, we need to lay low here for a while until all the commotion calms down." I did my best to stay calm, the last thing I needed was a panic attack. She nodded, confirming that she heard what I said. I tried pulling my hand away, but she wouldn't let go for some reason. Her hands were clammy, and I could feel the sweat in her palm.

"Don't leave me here," she whispered. Her voice sounded frantic and desperate. I looked at her, she was frightened and panicking. It was a long time since I had seen her in such a state. I didn't like seeing her like this, ever, looking so desperate and weak. It was this side of her that reminded me of when I left her, when I put her on the sidelines. I did what came first - I reluctantly pulled her frail frame into my arms, knowing exactly how she would interpret my action.

Immediately the guilt I felt vanished, replaced by it a sense of care and comfort. "I won't," I whispered into her ear. I could feel her arms around my waist, engulfing my self being into hers. I know we couldn't stay like this for long, seeing as if somebody caught us in this position, the rumors would be proved true, so I hesitantly pushed her slightly, as to indicate that I cared, but that we would have to separate. But she didn't let go... she held on, fast.

That was, until her cell phone rang.

I knew we were definitely screwed then.

She pulled back, her gaze fixed on me. She just looked... happy, despite the fact that there was a tear trickling down her pretty face... that I was there supporting her. Utau pulled her cell phone out, flipped it open and answered her call.

Seeing as we were so close, I had no choice but to eavesdrop in her conversation... so the least I could do was turn the other direction.

"Hey, Utau! Why didn't you tell me about this!"

"About what?"

I found it peculiar how she could keep her voice from faltering.

"Your boyfriend! This morning, it was printed on the newspaper-"

"Do you believe everything you read? Anyway, Kuukai, he's a very important person to me."

I heard a click, signifying that she ended the call, then I turned and saw my sister do the most un-Utau-ish thing I ever saw: she freakin' threw her cell phone on the ground and stomped on it with her shoes. When she was done, I saw nothing left of that poor thing.

"Over here! I heard it over here!"

It was quite far off, but I knew they found us. We would have to make a run for it while they were still back there. I didn't have to grab her hand this time; it magically found mine. Well, that saved me the trouble... I hope.

"Let's go." There was a tear tricking down her face, but there was also a smile.

I didn't know where we were... from the looks of it, we were just wandering around aimlessly right now, not until I noticed a familiar building Utau and I both knew. Our home! I turned one last time to see if anybody was following us, seeing none, I quickly escorted Utau inside. I guess the director knew what he was doing, placing us on suspension in our homes. But our car was stolen, and for that... well, he'll replace it. Or maybe he purposely took it away so that we wouldn't be tempted to head outside.

I hit the couch, the pain in my legs refused to go away. Ugh... I was out of shape... for a bodyguard, that is. I'd need to work out one of these days. Utau took the seat next to me... she was still holding my hand. Still. She was tired from that ordeal... her head was leaning against my arm, her eyes somewhat closed, her lips parted. She was breathing softly, her arm entangled with mine. She was sleeping, taking a nap... I think. Utau looked adorable, nothing like the way she looked when she was scared.

I let her lean on me, as she needed somebody to support her, both spiritually and physically. I wasn't tired like her, but I stayed where I was, passing the time silently as I tried playing some scenes through my mind, most of them involving Amu and Tadase. Occasionally, Utau would pop up, and when she did, she was always crying. Hurt. Brokenhearted. The tears trickled down her pretty face, she was kneeling on the ground, and there was nobody around her.

Alone.

She was alone.

...I guess... I'm_ her_ world. Her entire world.

All we had growing up was each other, and when I left her... to protect her... I had to hurt her. No big brother wants to see his little sister cry... I was no exception.

She looked peaceful, serene. But I couldn't stay here forever. I wiggled my arm out of her grasp, making sure she didn't wake up, then grabbed a pillow and blanket from her room. I lifted her head slightly, setting the pillow beneath, and pulled the blanket over. I went to shut the blinds, partly because I wanted her to sleep well, and partly to prevent people from looking inside, seeing us, the highlight of the news, in our home.

The thought of carrying her to her bed came up, but I didn't want her to suddenly wake up while she's in my arms and get the wrong idea. Even so, when she woke up, she would piece together what happened... after all, I'm the only other person in the house. But as I looked at her sleeping form, the thought kept on coming forth. Utau's precious. She's my sister. My only sister.

Her lavender eyes were still half way closed, though I doubt she could see anything at the moment. I ran my fingers through her soft blond hair, the realization hitting me like a train wreck. _She's my sister!_ I pulled my hand back, unsure of what I just did. There was no way... It was normal for siblings to do that, but...

I composed myself, making a mental note never to act the way I just did when my sister was conscious. I sat there beside my sister, unsure of what to do. What would a brother do...?

I suppose... this was fine. What I'm doing now is good enough. I took one last look at her before I went to the kitchen to prepare something to eat for lunch. There was some bread and sandwich materials, so I decided to go ahead and make some. They weren't the best, but at least I wouldn't have to wash the dishes tonight.

I was going through the refrigerator to get some meat when I noticed a pack of ramen-flavored bread. _That's right, Utau loves ramen. _I prepared a sandwich especially for her, one I know she would enjoy. I made myself a plain sandwich with whole grain wheat and some meat...

I took a sip of the water I poured, setting the sandwiches I made on the table near the couch.

We were at home, we were on suspension... I had no reason to wake her up. She stirred a bit, but nothing too much. I guess she wouldn't be eating... What could I do to pass the time...?

I quickly gobbled down the sandwich, then washed it down with the glass of water. I refrigerated her sandwich, then grabbed an interesting manga to read. "Koi Kaze", literally "Love Wind". It was sitting on the desk in my sister's room, the first volume left unopened. A romance... Ugh, I should have never went into her room.

I took a seat nearby where Utau was sleeping, then began reading.

...An hour passed... and I wasn't finished with the first chapter yet. There was just something about this manga that captivated me, like it was relevant to my life. I had to reread certain parts of the chapter several times over, just to confirm that there was a hidden message...

For a romance type, there sure was a lot of humor. Haha. Guess I'll finish reading the entire volume, after all, if the manga was this hilarious.

The thing that stuck me out the most... is the incest. Yeah, that's right. The incest. My sister was reading a manga about incest... though I guess technically I'm the one reading it at the moment. The two characters were... well, a brother and a sister with an age difference of about ten years. They were separated when they were young, and when they reunited, the older brother was about twenty-eight, the younger sister at fifteen. That brother... he acted like me, except he was a bit more fierce and aggravated. And the sister... she acted just like Utau...

...Wow. It's like I'm reading my life story. There were enough similarities to keep it relevant, but enough differences to keep my interest. I was hooked on the stuff. Before I knew it, I ran up to my sister's room to grab the next four volumes. Time... passed quickly. The ending chapter was just so... how do I say it... ugh, it's like the type to bring a smile to you. One of the things that you read, and you just smile at. That type of thing.

Time passed by fast. I ran up to her room to put her manga back where it belonged, so that she wouldn't know I read it. I tried making everything appear untouched, so that she wouldn't have the slightest suspicion... I walked out to the living room, where I found Utau munching on the sandwich I made for her.

It was around six, meaning she'd been asleep for about... well, six hours. Meaning she probably wouldn't sleep during the night... meaning I'd have to stay up and keep her company, 'cause she'll keep on complaining that she's bored... oh wait, she'd have that manga to read...

I mentally smacked myself. For my age, how could I be so stupid to forget things like that...? Her birthday. When was her birthday? ...Dammit, how could I have forgotten her birthday!? Have I really been putting her off that much...!? November... I know it was some time early in November...

Ugh, I'll think about this later... It's only the end of October... wait...

Okay, maybe I _should_ think about it.

...

"Took you long enough." Reference to how long she took to wake up.

She gave me a glare, something altogether mean and cute at the same time. Utau gobbled down that sandwich quickly, nothing like how a proper woman would eat. And somehow, I thought that was special, because that made her stand out from the rest.

But then, she stood up, the blanket still covering her, walking over to me with a small smile. "Thanks."

...We were brother and sister... family, right? We didn't need to say "thanks" and "you're welcome" and things like that, because it was already implied... was it? But hearing her thank me, hearing it from her...

"You're welcome." I smiled warmly, then turned and headed towards my room. No dinner for me tonight, Utau. Don't bother making some for me.

I closed the door as I went in, then lay quietly on my bed, the lights off, the blinds open so I could view the twilight of the sky... and the sunset. I shut my eyes, reminiscing over today's events. Hopefully I wasn't too affectionate... otherwise, Utau will surely be... no, I would be the one to break her heart. In the end, it was always me that did it. My actions, my carelessness...

...Yet, she-

"Big brother, I brought some chocolate cake."

She opened the door without even making a creak; I literally jumped up from my bed.

There she was, standing in the doorway with two plates of chocolate cake in her hands. Chocolate cake... she knew I liked chocolate. I wonder... was this for making her that ramen sandwich?

I gestured for her to take a seat by me... and she did. Utau handed me a plate, then began eating her share of the cake. I did the same, enjoying how sweet the chocolate is.

One of the main reasons why I like chocolate is because it's sweet. And if I eat sweet things, I'll have a sweet life, right?

"My concert is on the ninth of November. Until we're off suspension, I won't be able to do much," she said as she was chewing the cake. Haha. Talking with her mouth full...

But why did the date November 9 seem so... so much more significant?

"Shouldn't you be glad? Now you get to spend every minute of your day with your beloved brother." No sarcasm intended.

"I already do, jackass." She elbowed me in my arm, but there was an air around her that suggested she was playing around.

We finished the cake pretty fast, and Utau offered to take my plate downstairs to wash it. How kind of her... If only she could treat other people besides me like that...

I lied back down, my thoughts wandering as I tried to get an early sleep. November 9... was that... was that her birthday? Was that why it struck me as significant?

I was about to drift off to sleep, my mind and body exhausted when I heard Utau yell.

"Ikuto! Did you go through my room!?"

_Crap._

* * *

**A/N: **So yeah, as you can see, the idea for this chapter actually came from Day 05. And with this chapter done, I hope you have some ideas of what content future chapters will hold...

**To be continued... if desired.**


	8. Day 08: Disclosed

**A/N: **I had extra help from my English teacher. :D **Thanks~!****  
****  
****Random Thought(s):** In reality, incest is harmful to the family, assuming all members of the family are present for emotional support. As far as fiction goes though, incest does not have to be. In Utau's case, her obsession over her brother is slowly destroying her, as Ikuto does not return her feelings. In Ikuto's case -- well, you'll read about that when you scroll down the page.  
**  
****Summary:** I had to erase my past, ignore my former self, and create a new persona, for her sake. But why did I have to hide from her?

**Disclaimer**: If I owned Shugo Chara, I wouldn't be writing this.

* * *

**Day 08: Disclosed**

* * *

I shifted.

It was around three o'clock, for some reason I couldn't sleep. Was it the tea I had earlier? The caffeine? I tried clearing my mind, even telling myself that I wanted to sleep, finding that my body wouldn't shut down willingly. Normally, I would fall to sleep quickly, if there wasn't anything on my mind. But this time, there was _nothing_, and I'm pretty sure nothing, was on my mind.

Yet why couldn't I fall asleep? Maybe having my mind wander will eventually tire me out.

Amu. The "innocent" pink haired girl. I liked her, there was something about her that just... I don't know, there was just something about her... but whenever I looked into her eyes, I was reminded of my sister. Amu's golden hues... I could see the people I had hurt in the past. Tadase... and Utau. Strange how they both have blond hair.

Was this reality's way of mocking me? Was God, if he existed, trying to make my life a living hell? The girl I liked reminded me of my past, the color of her eyes reminding me of the two people I had once abandoned. What is the irony in this!?

But of the two, Tadase had left me. Only Utau remained.

I gazed at the quarter moon outside, the sky covered by clouds as the natural satellite tried to shine through. Even looking at the moon left me with guilt. Because... it reminded me of _her_. My sister. The one I hurt, the one I hurt so I could protect her. Yet at that moment a few years back, that was the only way I could protect her. Strange, isn't it? You hurt to protect. But what if I protect somebody, and I hurt them instead?

Finally, the drowsiness was settling in. The beginning of a wonderful world known as my dreams...

Then I heard the door open.

Dammit. That just ruined my mood. At the current time, it could only, and _only_ be one person... and I could only assume that she was sneaking into my bed again. I pretended to sleep, conscious of every move my sister took. From the shuffling sound she made, it seemed like she was wearing her pajamas.

I waited for her to reach for the covers, lift them, and slip under and somehow into my arms. It happened quickly, too quickly. She didn't do any of it slowly -- she lifted my blanket without much care and slipped under. I was surprised and yet simultaneously knew that this was the carefree attitude of my sister. She wasn't afraid to barge into my room without permission -- though when I think about it, it's probably because I never criticize her for it.

I heard her groan for a moment, the sound a bit foreign to my ears, then I felt her warm breath against my arm. So this was it was like -- it was so weird. It just_ felt_ weird -- no wonder she only did this when I was asleep. But this time, she wasn't so lucky.

With my eyes closed, I shifted my position so that I was facing her. I placed my hands at her waist, and I felt her freeze on the spot. She had stopped breathing, too. I let my hands travel up, until I hit what I wanted: her ticklish spots. And there--

Her laughter was a melody to my ears. In fact, everything she says is like a tune to me. She_ is_ a singer, after all.

"Stop it! Stop it...!!!"

No. You deserve this after sneaking in unannounced.

Her stomach, her feet, her armpits, I tickled every part of her. Seeing my sister laugh, smile, and telling me to stop... it made me keep going. Like a drug, she kept on feeding me, making me addicted. This was what we never experienced, the simple happiness of our childhoods which other children lived through; while they were safe in the comfort of their homes, we were dealing with separation, loss, sorrow. After our father disappeared, our mother remarried to the director of Easter, sealing our fate, life, and destiny. I ran from Tadase, a childhood friend, and Utau, suppressing my guilt at the time, finding comfort in another adult, soon to be captured by Easter. Utau joined soon after from her own free will, for my sake. For my sake, she suffered under my stepfather, signing a contract with the company for a lifetime commitment to the music industry. I didn't interfere with her decision; as her brother, I knew she wanted to become a great singing star. But, to pair up with Easter to achieve her dream -- I'm sure she knew of the company's purpose -- to capture heart's eggs, round them up to find the Embryo, the greatest egg which would bestow its owner one wish. She probably wanted to wish for me to be free, and, as a result, cause me to realize her importance. She already _is_ important to me -- she didn't notice.

During the time at the company, I tried my best to avoid her as much as possible, though knowing my presence would be of her happiness, it would also be one of extremely close intimacy. Whenever I wasn't around, she turned into this cold, heartless girl who took pride in herself. But -- as soon as I was in her sight, her icy exterior melted, revealing this completely opposite side of her. She would immediately captivate me in a hug, and her voice -- gosh, it sounded so sweet. Utau's glee was for me, yes, but not as a sister, rather, as a lover. That's why I avoided her. Nowadays, she seemed to calm down a bit, hopefully moving on, which was rather unlikely. Even so, I realized how much I hurt her during those years -- as a brother, I was non-existent. I abandoned her, in a sense. Now that I'm trying to overcome this barrier, maybe she'll get over her feelings for me.

Actually, that's near impossible.

The blanket shifted, and a cold draft of air went underneath. I was met with her eyes, the first thing I noticed. Dammit. Why was it always her eyes? Heck, why is it always the eyes? Her soft, lavender orbs were peering into mine, and I felt some deep connection with her. I didn't know how to explain it, but -- there was just this -- eye contact -- this type of eye contact -- it was addictive. I didn't want to look away. I didn't want to break it. I wanted to lie here and look back, I wanted to pull her closer, and that's when the spell broke.

I closed my eyes, inching a bit closer to my sister. The cool air waved by my cheeks, the hot air beneath the blanket surrounding me in some haze, and the warmth Utau radiated was tempting to hold onto... it was a thin blanket, and considering the time of the year, it was chilly.

I had to endure, though.

Whatever. In the end, she and I would somehow end up in each other's arms... there was no point in resisting. There was always the same result.

"That wasn't funny, big brother. You know how much I hate being tickled!"

She lightly threw me a punch at me, her delicate fingers lingering a moment on my chest before pulling back.

"You sounded like you were enjoying it." She was laughing, right? I really didn't understand the paradox about tickling -- sure, the person likes it, but he -- or she -- would always "Stop!" or something of the sorts. It puzzled me, yes, but nevertheless--

I screwed up. Big time. Teasing her was not the route to go.

I turned away from her, my chest against the soft memory foam of the bed, facing towards the wall. "Sleep... if that's what you're here for."

What a crappy way to say good night to your sister.

She shifted, her body pressed up against my back, her breath hitting my neck, her arms around me. Normally, this would have just been plain awkward, making me feel an urge to escape the situation, but even if I wanted to run, I couldn't.

I was feeling much more than I wanted to feel. Much more. I could stand seeing her in her privates, I mean, we were family and all, we wouldn't just "jump" on each other like that, but here, Utau gave me no way of escape. She -- she was warm.

She buried her nose into my back, and I could feel her lips tickle me as she spoke. "Good night."

Guess I wasn't moving from this position.

I could only laugh at myself for being in this situation. Shouldn't the guy be hugging the girl from behind? Why was it the other way around...? Does that make me the girl, and Utau the guy? Whatevers. I'm over thinking this thing again.

Good night, Utau. I'll see you in the morning.

...If only those words could have left my mind...

Her legs were intertwined with mine; when she did that, I don't remember, she must have done so either stealthily or when I wasn't paying attention. Is it strange to use your sister as a source of consolidation? Whatever the case, it was much easier sleeping with her around... It was one o'clock-ish, we were still on suspension, and... well, I guess that meant we could sleep in.

Still facing away from her, Utau's body, her warm bosom pressed against my back, her slender arms wrapped around my torso, her legs intertwined with mine, the lullaby of sleep was too much to resist. As always, I gave in.

"Good night, big brother..." she murmured, her child-like tone sounded so cute, so adorable.

I couldn't help but mutter a good night to her as well. Her hold on me tightened, probably because she missed out on all those years of family bonding. Good night, Utau. Good night. Even though I don't show it often, I want you to know... that I love you.

* * *

I awakened slightly, noticing how again I was holding her in my arms. Again. I was pretty sure I fell asleep facing away from her.

I carefully slipped from her hold, making sure not to disturb her sleep, even replacing myself with a pillow, just for the heck of it. And like I thought, she couldn't tell the difference. Yet.

It was freezing in the house, as I didn't turn on the heater. Makes me wonder why I didn't... Whatever. I had only a thin, black shirt with a pair of thin, black pants... yeah. Black. I had an obsession with black. Blue, too. Black and blue... the two went well together.

As usual, there was nothing good to eat in the refrigerator, as Utau and I were too lazy to go out and shop like normal folks. Food... well, meh. We did do with what we had. I took a glass of milk, gosh, I even had some cereal with it... ugh, Americanization... we were living in Japan, yet we had some American food in our fridge. If the Japanese government came over, we'd be totally screwed over, and our citizenship would be revoked. Well... actually, Easter would have to deal with it.

Eight o'clock, the clock said. Eight. Meaning I'd have ten hours before six, which meant ten hours before... something. Pretty soon, I strolled around, my hands running through my hair, until I went back into my room, finding the sight of the occupied bed a distraction from my high. The pillow was tossed aside, the blanket shuffled below my sister's feet. She had her arms on herself, her body in a compressed fetal position. Utau was... cold? Was that why she came...?

I walked over to her, taking a seat by her side, raising a hand to her shoulder. She was warm to the touch, yet she still shivered. I came down to her level. lying on the bed this time, encasing her in one of my rare hugs, one I gave either when she had a nightmare, when she was crying, or when she was cold, no matter what the cause. Immediately she stopped shivering, the tension stopped, and she relaxed against my body.

It seemed like she already knew it was me, though it isn't surprising. Is it true that if I know somebody well enough, I would recognize her in my sleep? I guess so. Huh. To have this power, to be able to bring her happiness with this one action, to be able to take away all her fears, pains, and problems... this was new. Never before did I realize I had this power. I felt a bit warm on my cheeks as I rested my chin on the base of her head, her golden, silky hair I wanted to run my fingers through. Instead I reassured her, not knowing if she was conscious or not, by slowly massaging her back, slowly moving my hands up and down her back, I didn't feel any hard bumps underneath her clothing, meaning that she wasn't wearing a -- no. I shouldn't be going in that direction.

I pulled the blanket over us, the time reading nine o'clock, and because we were still on suspension, we could stay in bed for the entire day... I heard a soft noise come from the living room, it sounded like a piece of paper was slipped under the door, probably from Easter, as we never get mail but by this method, so I assumed it was from Mr. Director. Maybe we were off suspension... nah. Screw him. He showed no mercy, so I'd show him the same.

I held her close, I would protect her, I will, not only because I'm her bodyguard, but because I'm her brother, a brother who loves his sister, a brother who wants his younger sister to be happy, a brother who doesn't want to see his younger sister sad, depressed, or anything like that, I don't want to see her cry, I don't want to see her so weak, so feeble, isolated, in the corner of the darkness, and I didn't want to stand there and watch her. I wanted to do what any brother would do, I wanted to kneel by her side, bring her in a crushing hug, whisper comforting words into her ear, reassure her that it'd be all right, that there would be nothing to worry about, that I would be there for her. But I did all of that... hesitantly. Because I'm her brother, I know her too well... that she would take it the wrong way. She always did. Sure, what I did would evidently make her happy, but in the end I would have to break her, smash that happiness of hers, take it away as soon as I gave it, then to give it to her again, and having the process repeat repeatedly. She's strong, to go through the process of my rejection again and again, she... she didn't give up, I guess that's something I admire about her, her determination. Yet, my first instinct was to deny her feelings, deny that all of this was happening, but in the end I was forced to face reality, that my sister had fallen in love with me, that this wasn't some simple infatuation, this was the real stuff. I didn't want to push her away, but I didn't want to be intimate with her as a brother should, either. I just... stayed neutral. I... didn't know how to deal with it without getting her hurt.

Maybe if our father hadn't ditched us, maybe if our mother hadn't been so weak as to marry that son of a bitch Mr. Director, maybe things wouldn't have turned out this way. Abandoned by our parents, taken in by an abusive step father, our mother no where to be seen, I was all she had. I was the only one she could look up to, the only one who she trusted entirely, the only one who actually _cared_ about her, heck, I was pretty much the only other person in her life. I had no choice but to support her, as nobody else would, seeing as how we were alone, she was all I had... she was in the same situation. And, I guess... that's how it started. Her tiny infatuation transformed into this colossal love.

She stirred, her arms somehow finding themselves around me, her face somehow recognizing the warmth of my chest, like it was second nature; all I wanted to do was lie here in peace with her. Despite how odd it seemed it also brought me content. Peace. The one thing I thought by isolating myself, I could receive, but in the end that peace was nothing compared to my isolation. Having someone to share that peace with... that's a different story.

Rather than looking at this from an outsider's point of view, looking at my current situation from an older brother's perspective... well, I was pretty lucky. At least I had somebody who cared for me. At least that person who cared for me knew almost everything about me. At least she and I were somewhat able to be true to ourselves.

The question pondered about, whether it would be possible to withhold her affections in place of mine, her tendency to take her hopes up would evidently fail her. Was there a possible way to comfort her without leading her on? Would there be a way for me to be by her side without giving the wrong impression?

No. It's impossible.

What the hell am I supposed to do!? I know Utau was fine knowing that I had a tendency to support Amu's side, but still, why did she keep on leading _me_ on!? Maybe she knew that I'd be by her side for pretty much as long as she was employed by Easter, or that I would be spending the majority of my time with her, "family" time, she called it, maybe it's because she was doing her best to control herself, but couldn't tame the eternal emotions she held for so long.

Then, what about Kuukai? Wait... she said she felt something for him, but it didn't seem "complete"... that she needed me by her side... guess that threw that idea out the window.

No matter what I tried to think of, no matter what solutions I tried to come up with, it all led to the same result. I would have to face this, either deny her feelings upfront and break her heart, or return her feelings and participate in a social taboo. Lingering in the twilight would only destroy me.

One thing wouldn't change, though, and that would be her being my sister, and me being her brother. Our past wouldn't change, and I'm sure we will always care for each other.

"Hey, Ikuto." Guess she wasn't asleep, and that she was awake for every second of my assurance.

"Yeah?"

"...Nothing." She didn't look up at me, she just stayed where she was, the only part moving probably her lips.

She lied there by my side, her hands loosely clasped onto the collar of my shirt, I looked down, seeing only a patch of golden hair, her pale, frail frame somewhat disillusioned by the power of her voice.

Well...

The phone was ringing. Meaning I'd have to get up and out and answer it. Who knew who could be calling. If it was Mr. Director, and I just so happened to not pick up, he would knock down the front door to the house he supplied us with. Of course, I'd make sure that never happens.

Utau seemed apathetic to my leaving, then again, she knew that I would come back. Maybe that's why.

"Hello?"

Utau was behind me. She was facing towards me, hugging the warm blanket to her chest, I couldn't see her, but I could feel her eyes on me, why, I don't know but--

"Ah. Mamoru..."

"What do you need?"

"You're off suspension."

That's impossible. I must be dreaming.

"If possible, I'd like for you and Utau to report in today. If not, then resume work tomorrow as usual." He hung up.

That's impossible. My stepfather, showing some mercy? Pity? Always has he been torturing my life, the smile a product of his glee at my suffering. He was a sadist, a person who takes pleasure in inflicting cruel and unusual punishments upon me, and me only, using me like a tool, a rag until I wore out, then after wearing me out, he'd wear me out more. He would continue to use me even though I had no further use to him.

I placed the phone back down, turning around, and, like I thought she'd be, she was lying on her side, my blanket in intimate closure with her body, her eyes wide with attention for me. She heard the conversation, she heard everything.

"Do you want..." I stopped to let my sister speak.

She spoke softly, "Come back to bed." Her amethyst eyes glistened with emotion, she lied inert as I came about, taking my place beside her. The way she said it, it sounded so weird, like she's my lover... wait. She _is_ my lover. That just makes it worse.

I had no choice, really. As her bodyguard, and as her brother, there was no other alternative.

Well, I guess that means we're heading in tomorrow, stepfather. I hope you don't mind if we're late.

* * *

After last night, here's what I have to say: don't get addicted to love. You'll waste away if you fall in love with love. What else... ah! Utau and I watched _Twelve Angry Men _last night. Epic film.

I stood outside Sanjo-san's office, where Mr. Director, Sanjo-san, and Utau were conversing a private manner. From the brief debriefing, I assumed that Utau would be assigned some top secret project, a private matter, maybe?

Whatever. When I drove, no, _escorted_ her here to the Easter company building, things seemed quieter, despite the gloomy sky the forecast that one weather forecaster gave. I took my sunglasses off, the weight of it bore consistently upon my flesh, imprinted ovals of dark eyes. Closing my eyes, I rested my head upon the door behind me.

I figured it was a bad idea when the surface of the door vanished and I found myself caught, rescued, almost, from a hard greeting with the floor. Well, it had to be her. Just my luck, Utau.

"Excuse me, Hoshina-san!" Right, we're bodyguard and client now.

I stood up, somewhat embarrassed at the predicament I'd gotten us into. I took a quick look behind my sister, seeing Mr. Director sitting at his desk, and Sanjo-san, clothed with a tight vest and a short skirt, dressed proactively as always, sitting crossed legged _on_ his desk. I shuddered, not wanting to think what would happen behind the door once it closed.

"I... need... to go for a walk. I'd like for you to accompany me." Her voice was cracking, I could feel it, whatever they told her in there, she didn't like it, that's why she wasn't looking at me, why her head hung low, why her face was tense, her brow and facade and fist all like that, because of them.

Cloudy, still--

She took me to where we grew up as children, the same, lively park abandoned, incongruous with our souls, in this time, for our childhoods have vanished. We weren't children anymore -- tainted by black souls, tainted by forbidden feelings, washed impure over the simple actions of our lives. Yet here we are, two sinners upon the earth who have suffered from the hands of other sinners, casually strolling along the park, the playground where Utau, Tadase and I would once play, where Utau would try to jump on me from behind while running, where I would play my violin and ease our troubles away.

It was cloudy, still--

I tailed her, she was leading this time, not me, until she stopped in front of the fountain I knew so well, where I evidently advanced on one Hinamori Amu who was on a date with Tadase, I stepped in, licked the ice cream from the cone she held, telling her to lick it, indirectly kissing her, when Tadase came and saw us two in a compromising position, Amu in my lap, my arms around her, I made sure Tadase saw.

The little king once played with Utau and I when we were younger. However, to protect him, I had to hurt him. I didn't want him knowing about my involvement with Easter -- to place him at a distance, I purposely made an enemy of myself, Utau included. The glorious past disappeared, along with our present and future. There was very little hope of my stepfather releasing me from his company -- Utau, however, could leave at any time.

Utau's manager used Amu against her. I should know, because I've witnessed it. Manipulating my sister to do their bidding, portraying the pink-haired girl as a threat to her. In all reality, Hinamori Amu was simply a young, bright girl. She held an aura similar to my sister's, maybe that's one of the reasons why I saw promise in her. Still in elementary school, I didn't find the age difference that much disturbing. High school student after elementary school student. Tadase, who was at the same level as Amu, would be better off with her. There was a closer connection between the two, and as a consequence, they knew each other better than Amu knew me. I didn't know Amu that well, I know I felt something for her, but otherwise, the bond wasn't that deep. I did try to find out about her through the park incident, heck, even make myself more of an enemy to Tadase.

My perversion, I know, would not serve to bring her over on an emotional state, but rather, a physical state. A pervert, Amu called me. True, true. My methods caused her to look at me in a different manner, what manner that was, I didn't know.

Utau never found out about that incident, hopefully, but this place where we were, the sound of rushing water pretty much the only thing we could hear besides our own breathing, this being the scene where I pulled a move on Amu, and Utau not knowing the memories that came about, made me feel edgy.

Yet, still--

"Ikuto." Emotionless voice. Totally not her character.

"Hmm?"

She raised her head to look at me, her arms caught in the air, she hesitated for a bit, then spoke.

"They want me... they want me to sell my body." With a grace only fit for her, she collapsed to her knees, her arms supporting her weight, right before me.

Her predicament... was this? Was... was this what my stepfather did...!? Was that why he showed us mercy, to lead us into a false trap, break our hopes by assigning my fifteen-year-old sister to become a porn star? Mr. Director truly is the demon, the demon who runs that wretched company Easter, the devil who blackmailed me into working for him... he'll never have my soul. He won't. He won't have Utau's, either... though knowing Mr. Director, he probably didn't give her another option, he probably threatened her.

"Utau." I kneeled down to her level, placing my hands on her shoulders, coming in proximity, eventually holding her frail body against mine, molding hers into my own, being the best big brother I could be.

"If I don't... if I don't do it... he'll... he'll kill you..." She... she sounded so... broken...

It was suddenly harder to breathe, my chest constricted as my heart pounded furiously. I watched as she burrowed her face into my chest, that familiar aura of big-brother protectiveness spontaneously bursting forth, as I held her to me as close as possible as nature would permit.

When she said... when she said that if she didn't go through with Mr. Director's plans... was he going to kill Mamoru? Or Ikuto...? ...Did... Did my stepfather know about this, that Utau knew about my true identity!? I... I can't take the risk. If I ask him... no, that's a suicide mission.

That son of a bitch stepfather of mine...

I know Utau didn't want to do it, she's still too young, she knows how prostitution and the like will destroy herself, intercourse will become addicting, meaningless, a mere source of pleasure for her stress, a source of comfort in knowing that she's not alone for an hour -- I fear that if she goes through with this, she'll ask to make love with me, then... then... I'll have no choice but to...

She composed herself well, retreating to her fair distance, still, not showing any evidence of crying, crying was a sign of weakness, she said, only children cry, we're not children anymore, so therefore we can't cry.

She held her hand over her heart, asking me the most dreaded question -- in statement form -- I'd ever have to face.

"Let's... let's run away..."

My chest felt like a ton, the realization hitting me like ramming my head into a brick wall. Knockout. If I, no, _we,_ run away, what would happen? Where would we go? Where _could_ we go? Even though we weren't children, even though we were no longer pure in the eyes of society, we would perish if we were to go out on our own. Easter, though I despised the company, was the source of my life. Without it, I would surely die... Utau, as well.

"Utau, I..." My arms felt like ice, I felt like a statue, I couldn't move.

...No... NO!!!! This couldn't be happening... this couldn't be...

This impossible dream she wants us to take, if I didn't go with her, then... she would... but if I went with her, we'd be hunted down... if we were captured alive, then there was a one-hundred percent chance we would never be able to escape Easter, though bounded we were to the company, there would be no way... if we were to run away, then my stepfather would make sure we wouldn't betray him...

The weight on my shoulders was too heavy to bear, gravity pulling me down to earth, my arms supporting my frail body.

...Utau.... why...? Why... are you doing this... to me...!?

I was able to raise my head to meet her gaze.

She held out a hand to me, though I couldn't help but notice the grasp she had on her heart, her other hand, I could see her frustration, her desperation, her sorrow and regrets. ...To make her happy, to give her happiness, I would have to elope with her... but at what cost? If we were caught, she'd be tortured alongside me, I didn't want that, I didn't want to see my sister in any kind of pain, I wanted to go with her, but...

I didn't want to be a source of despair.

If we both went, then we'd end up suffering... but if I stayed, ugh, there'd still be the same result!

There was always another option, just simply ignoring the problem, like how I used to calm myself towards Utau's affections, leaving her with nothing to build upon besides my presence. I vowed, however, to not do that again -- I know how much I hurt her by doing so, she felt as if I were locking her out of my life, through my indecisiveness I became a source of pain for her, yet my presence...

I had a difficult time standing up, my legs feeling a bit like rubber after the shock Utau put me through.

I wanted to step forward and take her hand, but I merely held my ground, my hands by my side pockets, my gaze focused on the droplets of water trickling down her innocent face.

I tried my best to hold my composure, though hard to maintain, that mask of collected repose. Yes, I was suffering, but I didn't want to let her know that she was a source of my pain...

She held her hand out for some time, probably because I just looked at her, never stepping forward to take her hand, she finally retreated, and ran off. I watched her form disappear into the gray mist, the way her hair moved when she ran, flying in two separate angles, angels, her dress flopping about.

She's gone.

Gone.

Ran from her brother, her thirtieth guard, leaving _me_...

"U-u-tau..."

I grasped my heart, the object of which brought pain and suffering into my life; it throbbed painfully in my chest, after opening the fragile boundary to her, warming up after my evidence of cold treatment, smashed by the tears which fell down upon me, soothed by those created by me.

I let my mask fade, the cement in contact with my knees as I fell.

She's gone.

_Utau..._

* * *

I stepped out of the shower, guided only by my sense of touch, my nose picking up on the steam which harbored the bathroom air.

She's gone, right...

Wrapping a towel around myself, I crossed the hallway to my room, my eyes paying heed to the empty room next to mine. She's gone. Right...

Utau.

Without you around, the house seems empty, like when I moved out earlier this month. I felt lonely in that house, without you around, things were different. Though your consistent intimacy and child-like whines were annoying, they were the things I missed the most. Strange, huh?

Leaving you was harder than I thought it'd be, I know how you'd react to my disappearance. Back then, I tried focusing on the light that Amu was known for -- the light of hope, optimism. Instead, I found more darkness. The silence, which I thought I'd so earnestly desire, would come to bother me. Normally, you'd be around the house, scampering about, or sitting in front of my bed, listening to my breathing pattern, running your delicate fingers through my hair, doing something which made me conscious of your presence, eliminating my sense of solitude.

That night when I moved out... that must have been the most painful experience I've ever faced.

Knowing that I'd hurt you, my precious little sister, served only to worsen the heartbreak.

When you needed me the most, I was by your side, likewise, you were there when I needed you the most, yet I cast you aside. I've been trying to change that about me. I know I haven't been the best big brother; after you found out about my identity as Mamoru Mizuki, something changed, I don't know what, but something did.

Yet, even through all of this, I abandoned you. When you needed me most, I stood inert. Though you held your hand for me, I didn't take it. I know how you feel, little sister.

I dressed like how I always did, preparing to call my stepfather about your disappearance. Maybe my stepfather knew this would happen, that she would ditch the thirtieth guard chosen for her, that she would run away from home, Japan, Easter, who knows but him. Maybe... maybe he's trying to make _me_ suffer even more.

That guy...

...Nevertheless, if I didn't do as he said...

Things would happen.

"What is it, Mamoru?"

Ah, I forgot that his office phone has caller identification. I'd better add that extra star in front of his number next time.

Long story short, my stepfather didn't seem angry at my notice. Yet, he seemed pleased. Excited, almost. The sarcastic "Is that so?" didn't go by unnoticed. That bastard, he must have planned something out. Since he instructed me to show up tomorrow, he must either have another assignment for me, or maybe...

Every time I've dealt with it, bottling my emotions within myself, the only other person to take notice of my action was you. Only you understood. If there were any others, I'm not aware of them. Just by my actions, you could tell what was on my mind, by my eyes, you could see my emotions. By my figure, you could see what kind of a person I am. Likewise, I could do the same for you -- our childhoods weren't the best, and we could only rely on each other.

As I climbed into bed, I thought I heard your coherent breathing. My reality train brought me out of my thoughts, making me conscious of your disappearance. Utau, now that you're gone, I can feel it. The nights you spent without me, the times when I wasn't there to offer a shoulder, the days when you could only rely on yourself. You matured greatly. Isolated, prideful, you hung onto your feelings, stepping up even though you were broken. Who broke you? Me. It was I. I wanted to protect you from my stepfather, Easter overall, but in the end it nearly cost me a sister.

Utau, where ever you are, good night.

Even though I want to walk right out right now and look for you... I know better. You probably don't want to be found right now; your radiance, however, makes that impossible.

I'll find you soon.

Even if you resist, I'll still take you in within my care because--

I'm selfish.

* * *

Waking up alone was something I was used to, that was, until Utau started sneaking in every night.

Waking up alone was something I was_ not _used to, that was, when Utau didn't sneak in every night.

Driving alone was something I was used to, that was, until Utau vanished.

Driving alone was something I was_ not _used to, that was, when Utau was around.

My life today was different without her around.

As I opened the door to my stepfather's office, I took notice of a red skirt skimpily hidden behind Mr. Director's desk. Yep, I know what happened here yesterday. The room reeked of a hot, sticky smell, and the smile on my stepfather's face could not be looked over.

"Good morning, Mamoru."

"What is it? You wanted me here, right? Let's get straight to the point."

He looked at me oddly, then continued. "All right. Since your client has ran off, you are no longer needed as a bodyguard. However! Since Hoshina Utau has signed a contract with my company, the contract still holds until she either terminates it herself. Or if she doesn't contact the company about her absence within ninety-six hours, I will terminate her contract."

A business man, he finally appeared to be. He hasn't inflicted anything to make me suffer, nor has he said anything to infuriate me.

"Until I receive contact from her, you are free to do as you like."

This man is unbelievable. I can't _believe_ the words coming from this man's filthy mouth. Since when did he ever act like this, purely, with no strings attached? Never, that's what. I can't trust his word, but it's all I have to go on for now. However, there was also Utau.

"If my client contacts you after the ninety-six hour period, what will you do?"

"I'll fire her."

"Will she still be able to live along side me?"

"No. She'll have to find her own shelter. She'll have to fend for herself."

But she doesn't have anybody to return to. What... what are you trying to do...!? Letting her go like that -- people are merely pawns to you, aren't they? A piece on your chessboard to move as you please, how despicable! For you to place yourself as you are, as if you're some king! As your pawn, I have no choice but to do as you please, as all power resides in your hands.

Directing my rage into a closed fist, I held my straight composure. There could be nobody else like him who inflicted deep emotional pain. As Mamoru Mizuki, I could no longer say Utau was my sister. A client, that's all she is, but no, he makes me see her run off, makes me suffer, he over did his sadistic act. I had no choice but to take it all, returning nothing back.

As I walked out of my stepfather's office, I began contemplating about what to do. Should I try to find her within the four day period? Should I break my ties with Easter, like my sister had done? That would mean I'd have to plan everything out, pack my belongings, gather associates, a network of individuals. Where would I stay? How could I support myself financially?

I exited the Easter building, not bothering to take the car. A walk appealed to me much more.

Where is Utau? In Tokyo, it'd be a major strain to find her, relying on strength and pure will power on my behalf. Maybe she's hiding somewhere around our home at the Easter premises, somewhere close by. If I were her, I'd most definitely do the same. There was a high likelihood she would be in the park, maybe. I would be attracted to that place as it held many memories of my childhood.

Ironic how the park was near the Easter building.

I scanned the area, finding nothing unusual at first glance, except for the fountain. The fountain was no longer running.

The trees washed together a plain melody, reminding me of the promise Utau and I made days before. What happened, Utau? Your song was bright, for sure I saw a glimmer of our childhoods, but now, all I can feel is depression. Joy must come before it can go--

_Even if it seems like you're being crushed by sadness, don't make that face__  
__Throw away the offerings of cheap pride__  
__  
_Utau -- I most certainly hope you are able to see your smile, my smile, however rare it may be.

_Live your life without turning your eyes away from the sun__  
__That's right! I want to smile, I want to frolic, I honestly__  
__Am feeling that way, a bright happiness_

I wish I could live like you dreamed, but I always notice the other side, the other side of the light. The darkness, Utau. Without darkness, there is no light. Utau - you... you're a light in my life.

_I definitely won't lose to anyone who tries to steal my dreams away__  
__I want to tell you right now, I want to hold you, patiently take a deep breath__  
__The sun fits you, it looks like your brilliant smile_

I'm sorry I stole your dream away, but honestly, words can not express my sorrow. In stealing your dream away, I lost you. I want to see your smile, sister, but that time yesterday, your beautiful amethyst eyes reflecting nothing but macabre, a death wish, because of me.

_Even when you're being swallowed by the stretched, rectangular shape of the building__  
__Don't be afraid, turn yourself around, and flap your wings and go_

I'm permanently trapped, chained to Easter. I can't escape, Utau, no matter how much I want freedom. My freedom brings me slavery -- yet, my slavery is my freedom. Going outside the boundaries, I fear, would bring further misfortune.  
_  
__When you're deeply wounded, and getting tired of crying, go to sleep__  
__I regret it, I want to love you, I want you to love me, so lonely__  
__The long nights will become my sustenance__  
__  
_I know your feelings for me, Utau. I know you love me, both as a sister and a lover. However, I can only return so much until I fear for our sakes. Loneliness is a major consequence of our actions.

_I won't let anyone talk about anyone behind their backs__  
__In the end, I'm not confident, I have no self, so boring, I can only run away__  
__Don't worry, now grasp the greatest moment__  
__  
_Utau, you're the strongest girl I know. Every time I knock you down, you get back up and chase after me. You can hold your own bowl of ramen and fight, that's how good you are._  
__  
__Glorious Sunshine!__  
__  
__Live your life without turning your eyes away from the sun__  
__If you do that, the goddesses will bless you with a kiss,__  
__A throbbing, bright happiness__  
__  
_I'll find you, don't worry. After I do, I'll be sure to bring a smile to your face everyday. Seeing your sadness brings me the same. I vowed never to bring a frown upon your face again - I broke that promise, and in turn, broke you once more. I told myself I wouldn't do that, yet I found myself doing so._  
__  
__In the center of my heart, a wavering light went through, it was surely you__  
__The person who will find the real meaning behind the light__  
__The sun fits you, now let's sing a joyous song._

I'll never let you know that the reason why I once ignored you was to protect you -- you would only blame yourself. I wanted you to have nothing to do with Easter. Cut your ties with them -- you did so, but now, I realize that cutting our ties with Easter would be cutting our life support.

The things I do, my suffering, it's all to support us.

Well, I guess you aren't here.

At the other end of the park lay the same foundation as when I first entered -- the entrance and exit were merely the same.

Eight hours and six minutes since midnight, my watch told me. Well, the park was out... though maybe she saw me and ran before hand. Maybe. I'll check back there later. Perhaps she wasn't wandering alone -- maybe she's traveling in a crowd. Doing the abnormal, doing what the majority would not do -- that was her.

Utau is like that.

Hiding in plain sight -- perhaps. That'd make it harder to catch her.

I entered a shop, noting the different atmosphere the people gave. Warmer, not because of the temperature, but because of the livelihood of the customers. Contagious, happiness is -- not people minded depression, of course. Instinctively, people, myself included, are drawn towards light. Yet, I choose to live in the darkness, my sister following me as well. Her appearance was one of an immaculate angel, her light skin complexity with her light, golden-blonde hair -- her choice of dress usually included a black dress with dark stockings. When we were young, she'd wear the brightest clothes, ones which illuminated her beautiful smile.

But now--

Her obsession over me is dragging her down. Her entire world is focused around me, she doesn't consider other people in her life. Lonely, she was, for she has no friends -- the closest one she ever made, Kuukai, she discarded when she stomped on her mobile phone -- she took pride in her love for me, and others viewed that as disgusting. Yes, incest is legal in Japan, but siblings are not permitted the sacrament of matrimony.

Surely, I thought by spending more time with her, she would calm down. She did, to an extent.

I ordered a medium cup of green tea from the waitress -- now, if only if I could find a table.

The place was crowded, someplace Utau might be, as I scanned the people in circumference. Every table was occupied by four people, sometimes six -- except for one. I glimpsed at the person sitting alone there -- light strawberry colored hair, golden orbs, dressed in an elementary student's uniform -- it couldn't be!

Hinamori Amu, drinking a small cup of tea, was right before me!

Should I ask to sit by her table? No, she'll most definitely recognize me from the incident when the Guardians attacked the concert stadium -- I'm an enemy, a goon hired by Easter -- that's who I am, from her perspective. But she has this side to her in which she could forgive -- like my sister, she very well understood her heart.

I'll take the risk.

"Excuse me, ma'am. May I sit here?"

To my surprise, she allowed me to do so. Amu examined me closely, almost as if she were digging into me with her eyes alone. I pretended not to notice, placing my cup of tea down, avoiding eye contact with her as she looked at me. From the corner of my eye, I could see it -- she knows who I am, I'm her bodyguard, I'm the same person she ordered the Guardians to attack, because I was in her way -- her way of stopping my client from escaping.

I focused on the world outside the window -- people were walking, couples were holding hands, making a trip to school, ah, the normal life. They did not have to hide themselves from the world -- they could be themselves, they could disclose their persona to whoever they wanted.

"Are you okay? You don't look so well."

I shifted my head slightly, cocking an eyebrow at Hinamori Amu's comment. Taking my sunglasses off right now would put me at risk of identification -- if she found that I, Mizuki Mamoru, held the previous name Tsukiyomi Ikuto -- what would she do? She's my enemy, we were on opposite sides, was it really okay to talk like this?

Then again, this isn't a battlefield.

"I lost somebody important to me yesterday, ma'am." Being formal with Amu was difficult -- I could feel the urge to talk perversely with her coming on fast. Foes, we were, and yet, I wanted to be friends with her. The opportunity to introduce myself as Ikuto had passed long ago -- I could, however, introduce myself as Mamoru.

Amu rested her chin upon her hand, and, looking down, probably to avoid eye contact, she also dipped her finger into her cup of tea, moving in a circular direction as to distract herself.

"Me too, although I wouldn't call him important. He just doesn't come around anymore." There was that motherly nature I could feel in her tone, the innocence of youth. I figured I would take away Amu's _innocence_ in the future. Well, since that dream is now impossible to achieve, I might as well sit back and have a short chat with her.

Amu is young -- she's the eldest in her family, her only other sibling being a younger sister named Ami. I suppose she wouldn't know how to deal about problems like mine, or Ikuto's for that matter -- but nevertheless, I decided to give it a shot.

However -- being the ungentlemanly person that I am -- I refrained from speaking until she finished.

"He used to pop up from behind me, then hold me like a doll. He bit my ear once..."

She paused, as if lost in a parting memory. Disclosing herself, she was, to a complete stranger. That's gonna get you one day, Amu.

Her dialogue, though -- she seemed to be talking about_ me_. Nevertheless, I remained silent.

"It's strange to say, but... I miss him. I never got to know him well. All I knew was that I wasn't supposed to befriend him. He... he was my enemy, but he looked after me. He was a strange person..."

Amu -- I'm sorry. I can't make everybody happy, not even myself. Through my disappearance, I hurt you -- Utau, as well. I have to take the pain that flows forth and bury it inside me, because there's no other way to protect the people I care about. Utau is the only exception -- my stepfather's stupidity brought us together -- and apart.

Well, it isn't fair to have you do all the talking, so--

"He sounds like a mysterious person, definitely. I've never heard of an enemy doing such things for his rival."

Lies, lies, all of it! I have to lie -- I have to become another person in front of her eyes.

"What about you? What about the person you lost?"

Now that I think about it, I actually lost more than just Utau -- I lost Amu and Tadase as well. Only Utau was within my reach -- the best I could do for Amu is reassure her. That opportunity, however, passed.

"We had an argument over something."

"Was it a lover's quarrel?"

Amu caught me off guard with that question. No, I don't love Utau in _that_ way, but she loves me in both. But, for her to suggest that -- I suppose it was a lover's quarrel. Maybe. From my sister's eyes, she viewed it as one. From mine, however, there was a nearly opposite perspective.

"It wasn't."

Amu briefly glanced at me, then returned to her usual composure.

Maybe -- maybe Amu does know how to deal with such problems -- maybe. Should I ask her? Would it be disclosing too much information? Maybe.

"Well... There's a dear person who loves me, but, that love... is wrong. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I don't want to lead her on, either. Ma'am, what would you do?"

I didn't expect much from her. I doubt she'd be able to give any helpful advice, but I wanted to give her a chance.

"Well... if you really care for her, then you would make her happy. But, since you said you didn't want to lead her on, it's up to you. Whether you want to break her or make her... that's your choice."

And with that, she stood up, taking her school bag with one hand, ready to leave.

"School starts soon. I have to go." Just like that. People come and go just like that.

I couldn't let this opportunity slide out from under me -- it was now or nothing. "It was nice talking to you."

Amu nodded, a small smile reaching her features. "You, too."

I tuned into her footsteps which became fainter with every step she took. She's gone. I'm alone at the table now, placed with a decision to make.

Thank you, Amu. Thank you for reminding me that sitting here wouldn't solve anything. If I want something, I have to take it with my own hands. I want to see my sister smile -- her bright and cheery smile, one which truly radiated her light. I'll take Utau back -- with my own hands. Nobody else could do it but me.

I journeyed outside of the warm atmosphere, out to look for my sister once more.

Was she there? Over here? In an alleyway?

Not one had the bright aura I was looking for.

I walked down an alleyway, the light obscured by the height of the buildings. I lifted a trash bin cover, maybe my sister would stay in something like that -- stinky, but sturdy -- maybe.

The alleyway led me into another street, one which did not look familiar with me. I was about to turn when I heard a fast pair of footsteps echoing from behind. Twirling around, I saw her -- she was beautifully broken.

Her dress was filthy -- but at that moment, I knew what to do. I caught up to her quickly, as she wouldn't go far barefoot -- she was perfect, she turned around, seeing me -- she halted. I caught up with her, again -- she can't get rid of me, I'm her brother, her personal guard -- she can't run off -- because -- I'll always catch up.

"Utau..."

She's squirming, she's trying to escape me, break out of my hold--

"Let... let me go!!!"

I ignored her, tightening my hold on her, I refused to let her go. Next time--

I whispered into her ear, my voice silent as possible, "I won't let you go so easily again."

Immediately she stopped, relaxed, and gave into me. A sigh of relief escaped me -- she won't run from me again.

Utau wrapped her arms around me, returning the hug I forcibly offered. Tears, tears were falling, my clothes were wet, I could feel them upon my chest. Your sorrows, dear sister, I'll offer both my shoulders for you. Not just one, all I have, I'll offer it.

If this is what you want me to be, then I'll do my best.

Thank you, Utau. You too, Amu.

* * *

**A/N: **Wow, I never knew I could write like that. I suppose this chapter is the climax of the story, where Ikuto finally confronts his problem(s). Maybe that's why it's so long.  
**  
****I'd appreciate it greatly if you, the reader, could leave a review.** My English teacher commented on the flow of the story, that if I trim the fat, the story wouldn't seem as repetitive. **If you could leave a response to this, I'd appreciate it also.**

If there ever is a next chapter, a ninth day, it will most definitely be the final chapter.

**To be continued... if desired.**


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